shame – Erin Ulerich

When Jesus Turns Things Upside Down

Jesus often said and did the unexpected.

He turned things upside down and left people perplexed.

When the rich young ruler approached Jesus, he was confident that he was in good standing with God. The prevailing thought of the day was that riches proved that God was pleased with you. Add that to his rule-keeping, and he was practically guaranteed to inherit eternal life, right?

This man was trusting in what his religious culture said about his wealth.

And then Jesus asked him to give away the very thing that his trust was wrapped up in to the poor- the very people that he was certain God was not pleased with.

In one simple conversation “Jesus exposed in that man the thing that he treasured more than he treasured God.”

Jesus turned things upside down.

Nicodemus wasn’t confident he was in good standing with God, but he knew he was on the right path. He was, after all, a respected Pharisee.

And yet something in Jesus’ teachings led him to go to Jesus in secret.

In one statement, Jesus rocked the world Nicodemus had carefully built during a lifetime of serving the Lord.

Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

The despair in his response leaps off the page. How can a man be born when he is old?

Seeing the kingdom of God was the focus of Nicodemus’ entire life.

“What if Jesus had told Nicodemus,’You need to work harder and trust God more’? Nicodemus could have gone home and tried to do better. But Jesus was emptying Nicodemus of any hope he had of fixing himself.

One sentence emptied Nicodemus of all of his self-centered schemes for rightness with God.”

He spent his life seeking God, but his trust was in the seeking, not in God.

Jesus turned things upside down.

The Samaritan woman at the well knew she wasn’t favored by God. She definitely knew she didn’t have a chance of being right with God.

After all, she had messed up way too much, searching for a relationship that would make her feel loved. Everyone, including her, knew that for a fact.

And yet, when Jesus revealed that her hope in relationships would always leave her thirsty and pointed her toward Himself, she recognized her need for Him.

When Jesus turned things upside down for her, she saw that things were finally right.

Jesus turned things upside down for these three to reveal that what they were trusting in could never fully satisfy. He poked holes in their false hopes so they could see that their need of Him, the source of lasting Hope.

And He does the same for us.

Sometimes we are the young ruler trusting in social status or rule-keeping. Other times we are Nicodemus, hoping that our service to God, our sacrifice, our theological knowledge will make us complete. And, more often than not, we are the Samaritan woman, hoping to find love and a sense of worth through relationships.

Jesus turns things upside down so that we can see Him clearly, run to Him readily, and follow Him closely.

Quotes are from the workbook Behold Your God: Rethinking God Biblically by John Snyder

Listening to Hope’s Whisper

Shame shouts, “Things will never change. Why even try?”

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. (Brene Brown)

Shame reminds us every of mistake, every failed attempt, and mocks the idea that we could change.

Hope whispers gently, “Things don’t have to stay the same.”

Hope begins as the first light of dawn, signaling the end of the darkness. Its glow is small at first, but grows brighter and brighter.

Fighting for hope means kicking shame to the curb and moving toward change – one step at a time.

When It Feels Like the Darkness Is Winning

As I’ve watched the news, as I’ve lived in my own shoes, as I’ve walked beside friends, this question keeps coming:

Where is hope?

Where is hope when the world is going crazy, when things spin out of control, when it feels like the darkness is going to suffocate all good out of existence?

Current world events will cause us to ask this question. An honest look in the mirror will as well. In this broken world we struggle with addictions. We have loved ones caught in the snare of pornography, alcoholism, or in the cycles of anxiety and depression.

And many days it seems the darkness is winning. With each stumble, each setback, the darkness seems to close in, mocking our desperate prayers for hope, for deliverance, for change.

On these days, where is hope?

Hope doesn’t swoop in like Superman to save the day. It starts as a spark that grows over time.

I am a big fan of time.

I remember when the 10:00 news report was followed by the National Anthem and that ended the news for the day. In fact, it ended all television programming until early the next morning.

Hours of wonderful silence followed.

And that silence that gave people time. Time to think, to cool off, to rest. Time to allow ideas and thoughts to marinate. Time for people to figure out what they really thought about issues.

When it feel like the darkness is winning we tend to react, and more often than not, fear and anger win the day. Fear and anger drive out hope and replace it with hopelessness. “Hopelessness produces a refusal to see the potential of a new, bright, and good day… ” (page 86, The Healing Path) When fear and anger are driving, and hopelessness is thriving, we aren’t at our best.

Time also gives a chance for hope to grow.

Not a cross-your-fingers-and-hope-for-the-best kind of hope, but a hope that “enables us to walk bravely into the future, confident things can be better than they are today.” (The Healing Path, Dan B. Allender)

And we need hope because we are raising children who will be the next leaders, voters, the next people of this world. Our kids need to see us fighting for hope because hope is so very important. Hope allows us to be courageous and compassionate and I believe that is the kind of people our world needs.

Hope clings to the belief that this is not the end. God will work. Good will come from this. “The quintessential cry of hope is found in the remark Joseph made after experiencing devastating physical, sexual, and emotional abuse: “God turned into good what you meant for evil.” (Genesis 50:20, NLT)” (The Healing Path)

I believe that the more we fight for hope, the more we will see sparks of hope grow into a flame. Fighting for hope will help us communicate to each other with respect, even those who are on opposing sides of an issue.

So instead of shouting across the canyon at the spouse who is struggling with an addiction, or at the person whose lifestyle looks different from ours, or at people who drink out of red cups at Christmas, or at people who say open the borders, or close the borders….

Fighting for hope will enable us to sit down together, listen to each other, wade through the fear and anger, and find an answer for a new, bright, and good day.

Keep fighting for hope, dear friend. It is important for our lives, our world and our future.

Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

In the book I am writing, the main character tells her friend, Stephen, about meeting the Jewel Maker. Their conversation tells us a lot about Stephen and about the Jewel Maker.

“Has He talked to you, too?”

“From time to time, yes. Like you, He speaks words of healing to me.”

“What does He tell you?”

Stephen’s face clouded. “That He loves me.”

“Why do you look so sad when you say it?”

“The shame I feel about not going after Jade covers me and makes it hard for me to really believe His words, even when I know they are true. His words seem to roll off, instead of reaching my heart. I am uneasy in His presence. I am nervous, although He is only ever kind and loving.” – Angkura: The Fight for Hope

Although my story is fiction, shame is real. Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. (Brene Brown)

And thought the majority of us never talk about it, we’ve felt the blush of shame running over us. We’ve had times when we couldn’t even look ourselves in the eye in the mirror, much less open ourselves up to get close to others.

Shame is a fungus. It flourishes in the dark, covering us with its lies. Shame separates us from God by convincing us that that though God’s love is real, it is not meant for us. Shame works overtime to make sure we feel alone, and that we stay alone. Eventually it convinces us that we are alone.

Shame convinces us that we are the only ones who make mistakes, the only ones who numb emotional pain through food, sex, video games, or mindless TV shows. Or by staying too busy to think or to feel.

The numbing only works for so long. We feel horrible about our actions, and resolve to not give in next time. But shame dives in and convinces us that we are worthless and stupid to think we could ever change.

The longer we are quiet about our shame, the stronger its voice grows.

Lets turn on the light and look at truth.

What does God say to us? He says I love you.

He says it through His Word, He says it by providing a way for us to know Him, He says it through the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. He can even say it through the smile of a stranger.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
²When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
³For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…
⁴Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you… Isaiah 43: 1-4

God says I have called you by name. You are mine precious, loved.

Shame pours over us, like a relentless waterfall, seeking to wash the truth away. But even if just a smidge of truth gets in, hold on to it.Truth is worth fighting for.

In these beginning days of October, we’ve seen that God’s love is lavish and extravagant. His love never ends, and His compassion toward us is as abundant as His love. And now, today’s beautiful truth – Nothing can separate us from His love. Nothing – not even the darkness within us. God’s love is real even when we don’t really feel it.

In the warmth of His marvelous light we find life.