I am so excited to have Kristen Kelley as a guest today. Kristen shares her journey of fighting for hope in her book “A Letter in your Loss: Living Through the Sorrow of Miscarriage.”
The grief after a miscarriage is deep, private and, generally, not talked about. Kristen’s sincerity and empathy shine through her words. She doesn’t give short cuts for getting through the pain. Instead, she shares her own private, grief-filled thoughts. There are no “shoulds” in her book. Only a feeling that she is talking with you over a cup of coffee, giving hope that good will come, no matter how heavy the darkness feels. 
Flowers from Tears
Last night, our youngest went on her first Daddy-Daughter Date. We have four girls, and it has been a toddler tradition for each of them. I painted her little nails, let her wear ChapStick, and proceeded to make her hair all fancy by pinning braids to the top of her head and weaving in flowers from the front yard. Things don’t always go smoothly around here, so after a quick battle with microscopic plant bugs, and an emergency hair-washing, we were back on track for “date night”. Once in town, her Daddy now and then texted me photos of the sweet time they were having. Charlotte’s precious little face, the orange, and yellow, and white in her hair, the sun beginning to set . . . My heart felt so bittersweet. Not only because our youngest is now officially out of diapers and in preschool, but because the flowers on this happy occasion were come-back blooms from Joshua’s memorial garden.
A year-and-a-half ago, God gave us a little life that we weren’t meant to keep for very long. At 5 months pregnancy with our 5th child, we learned that we had suffered what is known as a “missed miscarriage”. Because we were induced into labor to deliver Joshua, the hospital sent us home with a bereavement folder . . . There was so little hope in that material; nothing for a person to truly cling to in their sorrow. The months that followed were some of the darkest I’ve ever known, but God was the Healer of my heart.
You see, I knew the One Who could mend the broken pieces – I could go to God’s Word and to prayer for comfort – but what about those who don’t know the Lord? What do they do when they’re going through the loss of a baby? And thus my heart burden for miscarriage ministry began.
I have always LOVED to write, and after our sorrowful delivery, I wrote a post on my devotional blog, just sharing our story and the goodness of God through the darkness. As a grieving mother, it was such a blessing to my heart to see God, over and over again, use our own testimony to help comfort others.
Last year, the day after Christmas, we learned that we had miscarried again. This time, we endured a hospital procedure known as a D&E. There was no memorial box given. No bereavement folder. No support group information. But there was a very real need . . .There was a NEED for Christian writing on the subject of miscarriage, and through these new days of grief, God was working on my heart to play a part in it.
II Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
A group known as “The Guild of Baptist Writers” helped me through the editing and publishing process, and in March of this year, “A Letter in Your Loss” was officially in print. With our personal stories, and Bible verses, and excerpts of hymns, it was designed to be a “letter” of comfort to other ladies going through a similar sorrow.
Since the book’s publication, God has been giving us divine encounters and open doors of opportunity I never could have foreseen. Sentara Rockingham Memorial Hospital allowed us to donate a year’s supply of books for their bereavement folders. We were able to donate several copies to a local child loss support group known as “The Sadie Rose Foundation”. I’ve reached out to several Facebook groups who sew “angel gowns” for baby funerals. I’ve cried with mothers who miscarried within the week. I’ve listened to the stories of mamas who said their goodbyes literally decades ago. And I have continued to find hope in my Savior, one day at a time.
You see, the sorrow doesn’t ever completely go away, but the heart does heal. The anguish and the despair dissipate, as the comfort of God enters the soul. And often, when we seek to be a blessing to others in their grief, it helps us to navigate through our own. This wasn’t a ministry that I would have ever chosen for myself. But it is one that God, in His infinite wisdom chose for me, and I am grateful for it.
In recent days, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Isaiah 61:2-3.
“ . . . to comfort all that mourn . . . to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”
Flowers can spring from tears. God can take any level of sorrow and bring forth good. He can bring beauty from ashes, and light from darkness. And He can take any life and any death, and use it for His glory.
Kristen Kelley and her husband Brandon are missionaries to Southeast Asia. As a homeschooling mother of four little girls, Kristen thoroughly enjoys both writing and teaching. She loves hats and flowers, historical dramas and musicals, buttery popcorn and the smell of pages in a printed book. Her devotionals for ladies come from a sincere desire to help others in their walk with the Lord.
Connect with Kristen on her blog Dinner’s in the Oven.
Her book, A Letter In Your Loss, is sold on Amazon. You can also hop over to my Hope Warrior’s Resources Page and clink on the link provided there.