Hope Warrior – Erin Ulerich

Helping Others Fight for Hope

I am excited to have Stefani Carmichael as a guest today. Not only is Stefani is one of the Hope Warriors in my life, she is also a Hope Warrior in the lives of the teen girls that live in her dorm.

She is gifted at helping the girls see the lies that they are believing, and encouraging them to replace those lies with truth. For some of these girls, she is the first person in their lives to teach them how to fight for hope, especially when their circumstances feel hopeless.

Stefani also blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com , so be sure to jump over to her site and check it out.

***************

Helping Others Fight for Hope

What is harder than being in a black hole?

Harder than being in the middle of a fog in your life and not seeing your way out?

In my experience, the only thing harder than that is seeing those you love sink down into that pit and knowing you cannot pull them out.

Recognizing that you cannot pull someone out of the pit is really the first step of being able to help them. I learned this the hard way. If you will expend all your energy trying to pull them out, you might get pulled into it in the process.

At the same time, you can help someone who needs hope. You cannot force them to have hope. You can’t manhandle them into feeling better.

You can inspire, encourage, and support them in their fight. You are not Rocky Balboa, you are one of those in his corner.

I am approaching this topic with lessons I have learned through experience. In the process of gaining experience we often make mistakes along the way, and I certainly have. When I write about what not to do, it’s because I have probably done it at some point in my life. I hope anytime I have made mistakes in this area, that those battling with me will extend me grace and understand the heart I have had to help.

It would be incredibly difficult to help someone fight for hope if you have never been in a situation in which you felt hopeless. I imagine we have all been to that place, but if such a time doesn’t come to mind, you might first want to take a step back and remember.

When you remember the weight of your own battle, you will be better equipped to support someone in their own time of need.

This time of remembering prepares you to listen.

This sounds easy, but Iistening well is often the hardest part. When someone you love is in a pit, you want so much for them to be out and back to normal. You may be tempted to think you know what is wrong and just jump to solutions. Don’t.

You may even know what they need to do. You may even understand. But telling them is not going to get them where they need to be. Because someone who is hopeless is not going to automatically believe you know what you are talking about and can help them.

From their perspective, there is no way out.

From their perspective, things could probably not look any bleaker.

For them to listen to any suggestions or advice, they first have to know you understand the serious position they are in. You show them this by intently listening to them, rephrasing what they have said to make sure you really do understand.

This process is also essential, because you may not understand as much as you think you do. You may have experienced a similar situation, but that doesn’t mean that your pain is the same as their pain.

There is no timeline for how long you stay in this stage with someone. There may be a lot of listening involved with some people before they believe you understand.

It may take one conversation or several before you get to the point to move forward.

When you understand well, it is time to share. The point of sharing is not to say, “That’s nothing, look at all I have been through.” Its not to compare pain. If it comes off looking this way to the person who is struggling, it will do more harm than good.

The point of sharing is to let the other person know you also have suffered in your life, and while it may have been a very different situation, you found your way out of the suffering.

This is the point where you can begin to offer hope.

The hope comes in the message that if you walked through the blackness and found yourself back in the light, against all appearances, they also can find themselves in the light again.

This doesn’t have to come from just your story. The Bible is full of stories of those who were in seemingly hopeless situations, sometimes for a very long time, before God’s deliverance.

The stories of Abraham, Joseph, the Israelites in the wilderness, Ruth, Esther, Nehemiah, and countless others attest to incredibly bleak situations that did not remain bleak.

God’s word provides encouragement to those who are in the middle of dark places. These stories entailed long periods of difficulty and do not look anything like the band-aid fixes people often offer those in the middle of serious struggles.

People in the middle of difficulty don’t need to be led into a false hope that everything will change quickly. They need a surer hope that keeps them moving when they do not see the end of their struggle in sight.

They need the hope of a 75-year-old Abraham who still doesn’t have the child of promise and won’t for over 20 more years. They need the hope of Joseph whose troubles did not end with his promotion as a slave, or even when the chief cupbearer was restored to his position. They need the hope of Esther who saw a 360 degree change from complete despair to rejoicing overnight.

Point them to the Hope-Giver

All these stories offer hope because situations changed dramatically. Dark situations are so pivotal, because in the middle of them we can give ourselves over to despair if we let ourselves.

The stories above do not simply offer hope because they show that we might find our situation change if we just keep going. They offer hope because the people in these situations have a relationship with the Hope-Giver.

The God who we can trust, who has the power to change things for our good gives hope, because he is the only one who can really change our darkest situations.

At the beginning, I wrote how understanding that you can’t pull someone out of their dark pit is essential in offering hope. But, it is also essential to understand that God can.

God is fully able to change things. And he gives promises to do just that. When a fellow brother or sister in Christ is in the pit, you can offer hope-giving promises to them.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

This verse is used so much for a very good reason. It has inspired people in their darkest hours for centuries. If you love God, this verse is a message of hope for you. Its not a band-aid to stick on a problem. It shouldn’t be thrown to someone before you have sat with them in their grief. All of Romans 8 is an encouragement to those who suffer deeply. If you read it through in entirety you see in verse 38 that this promise meant for the most difficult of situations:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

We are hearing this from a man who is currently under house arrest, has faced beatings and being pelted with stones. He has survived a shipwreck and has a perpetual “thorn in the flesh.” Paul knows suffering when he writes this.

Do something Tangible

God’s sovereignty is a huge comfort, but it is not an excuse for inaction. You know you can’t lift someone from their pit, but you can help.

The good Samaritan did not pass by, and if our heart is aligned with God’s heart, neither will we.

Pray and ask God to show you what you can do in the person’s situation. It may be as small as flowers, or as big as getting church leaders involved to help someone financially beyond what you are capable. Sometimes there are actions we can do to help another significantly in their distress. While you don’t want to enable destructive patterns, there is a time and place for significant help.

Tangible assistance can also be things that help with their mental battle—these things need not be physical. Perhaps they are believing lies that are destructive. Have them write them out on paper, and then work with them to change each lie to a true statement that offers hope.

Walk with them

Finally, stay in the picture. Hope warriors are in a battle. Don’t just show up for the first round of the fight, stick around to see the victory.

They may need help planning steps in the right direction. Have them write out their goals and see if there are proactive steps they can take now to move in that direction. Help them plan those steps in, and cheer for them when they get past an obstacle or do something that leads them in the right direction.

There will be days when they will struggle again. They will need fresh encouragement along the way. We are all works in progress, but thankfully God’s work in us will one day be complete.

Pray

Throughout the entire process, pray. God is the one who can change things. He is the one who can give hope. He is the one who can give wisdom both to you and to the one struggling. Cry out to him, and rely on the promises he gives to his children.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Stefani Carmichael is an author, counselor, wife, daughter, mom and houseparent of teenage girls. She blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com

Flowers From Tears

I am so excited to have Kristen Kelley as a guest today. Kristen shares her journey of fighting for hope in her book “A Letter in your Loss: Living Through the Sorrow of Miscarriage.”

The grief after a miscarriage is deep, private and, generally, not talked about. Kristen’s sincerity and empathy shine through her words. She doesn’t give short cuts for getting through the pain. Instead, she shares her own private, grief-filled thoughts. There are no “shoulds” in her book. Only a feeling that she is talking with you over a cup of coffee, giving hope that good will come, no matter how heavy the darkness feels.

Flowers from Tears

Last night, our youngest went on her first Daddy-Daughter Date. We have four girls, and it has been a toddler tradition for each of them. I painted her little nails, let her wear ChapStick, and proceeded to make her hair all fancy by pinning braids to the top of her head and weaving in flowers from the front yard. Things don’t always go smoothly around here, so after a quick battle with microscopic plant bugs, and an emergency hair-washing, we were back on track for “date night”. Once in town, her Daddy now and then texted me photos of the sweet time they were having. Charlotte’s precious little face, the orange, and yellow, and white in her hair, the sun beginning to set . . . My heart felt so bittersweet. Not only because our youngest is now officially out of diapers and in preschool, but because the flowers on this happy occasion were come-back blooms from Joshua’s memorial garden.

A year-and-a-half ago, God gave us a little life that we weren’t meant to keep for very long. At 5 months pregnancy with our 5^th child, we learned that we had suffered what is known as a “missed miscarriage”. Because we were induced into labor to deliver Joshua, the hospital sent us home with a bereavement folder . . . There was so little hope in that material; nothing for a person to truly cling to in their sorrow. The months that followed were some of the darkest I’ve ever known, but God was the Healer of my heart.

You see, I knew the One Who could mend the broken pieces – I could go to God’s Word and to prayer for comfort – but what about those who don’t know the Lord? What do they do when they’re going through the loss of a baby? And thus my heart burden for miscarriage ministry began.

I have always LOVED to write, and after our sorrowful delivery, I wrote a post on my devotional blog, just sharing our story and the goodness of God through the darkness. As a grieving mother, it was such a blessing to my heart to see God, over and over again, use our own testimony to help comfort others.

Last year, the day after Christmas, we learned that we had miscarried again. This time, we endured a hospital procedure known as a D&E. There was no memorial box given. No bereavement folder. No support group information. But there was a very real need . . .There was a NEED for Christian writing on the subject of miscarriage, and through these new days of grief, God was working on my heart to play a part in it.

II Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

A group known as “The Guild of Baptist Writers” helped me through the editing and publishing process, and in March of this year, “A Letter in Your Loss” was officially in print. With our personal stories, and Bible verses, and excerpts of hymns, it was designed to be a “letter” of comfort to other ladies going through a similar sorrow.

Since the book’s publication, God has been giving us divine encounters and open doors of opportunity I never could have foreseen. Sentara Rockingham Memorial Hospital allowed us to donate a year’s supply of books for their bereavement folders. We were able to donate several copies to a local child loss support group known as “The Sadie Rose Foundation”. I’ve reached out to several Facebook groups who sew “angel gowns” for baby funerals. I’ve cried with mothers who miscarried within the week. I’ve listened to the stories of mamas who said their goodbyes literally decades ago. And I have continued to find hope in my Savior, one day at a time.

You see, the sorrow doesn’t ever completely go away, but the heart does heal. The anguish and the despair dissipate, as the comfort of God enters the soul. And often, when we seek to be a blessing to others in their grief, it helps us to navigate through our own. This wasn’t a ministry that I would have ever chosen for myself. But it is one that God, in His infinite wisdom chose for me, and I am grateful for it.

In recent days, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Isaiah 61:2-3.

“ . . . to comfort all that mourn . . . to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”

Flowers can spring from tears. God can take any level of sorrow and bring forth good. He can bring beauty from ashes, and light from darkness. And He can take any life and any death, and use it for His glory.

Kristen Kelley and her husband Brandon are missionaries to Southeast Asia. As a homeschooling mother of four little girls, Kristen thoroughly enjoys both writing and teaching. She loves hats and flowers, historical dramas and musicals, buttery popcorn and the smell of pages in a printed book. Her devotionals for ladies come from a sincere desire to help others in their walk with the Lord.

Connect with Kristen on her blog Dinner’s in the Oven.

Her book, A Letter In Your Loss, is sold on Amazon. You can also hop over to my Hope Warrior’s Resources Page and clink on the link provided there.

Heritage Ukraine: A Light in Dark Places

Slavik motioned toward the couch and chairs in his living room.

“Spasiba, spasiba.”

My mind went blank. Spasiba was one of the 5 Russian words I knew, but a 13 hour flight, a race through the Paris airport to catch our connecting flight, and the experience of going through customs had me completely numb.

Our team stood in the middle of the room, smiling and nodding like a collection of bobble heads.

Thankfully, Alyona came in the room and said “Please, sit down.”

The next morning I tried to tell Slavik’s mother Good Morning, but my version of “Dobroe utro” was, no doubt, too Southern. She just waved her hand impatiently and pointed toward the kitchen as if to say “Don’t bother, just go get breakfast.”

Traveling to another culture is so humbling.

I needed help turning on the shower. Which knob is for hot water and which one is cold? I needed help plugging in my hair dryer.

And I certainly couldn’t read the gas pumps.

One afternoon our team sat on the floor of the Slavik and Alyona’s home office wrapping Christmas presents to take to the orphanage that we would be visiting the next day. Suddenly 3 clowns walked down the stairs.

Thankfully, they weren’t the creepy kind of clowns. They were colorful, cheerful, and in full costume from head to toe.

They nodded at us, and we nodded back, bobble head style, as they walked out the door.

I never knew what to expect from moment to moment.

Ukraine had delicious pizza, huge grocery stores, beautiful landscapes, cold weather unlike anything I’d ever experienced. And beautiful, hospitable people who welcomed us into their homes.

There was also brokenness and pain. I spent time with the children in the orphanages and heard their stories. I saw fear beneath their tough exterior. These children were placed there by the decisions of others and are helpless to change their situation. Being helpless can take us to some pretty dark places. And here, in the middle of darkness, Heritage Ukraine is a ray of light. A sliver of hope that things don’t have to stay dark.

The ministry of Heritage Ukraine involves children in one of these settings:

Orphanage ministry: Teams visit the children in the orphanage each month doing a variety of different activities including sharing Bible stories, playing games, doing crafts, teaching life skills lessons, and establishing mentor relationships.

JAM (Jesus and Me) Day Center: ministers to children from troubled homes and their families. Children in troubled homes often end up in orphanages. This center is a way to help prevent that from happening.

Joy Center: ministers to children with special needs and their families.

Camp Lela: Summer camps run from the beginning of June through the end of August. Each week of camp focuses on one specific set of children. The first week this year was for children from the Jesus and Me Day Center, the second was for children with hearing disabilities, the third for children from the Eastern Ukraine Conflict Zone. There are camps for the children from specific orphanages with special needs, camps for children from other orphanages and a family camp in the mix.

Three things I love about Heritage Ukraine: :

Slavik and Alonya are a great team. The Lord has given them the ability to dream big and communicate their vision to others in a way that generates momentum.
They give practical ways for others to become involved in stretching out a hand of relief to those in need. It’s easy to see a need, it’ s hard to know where to step in to help.
Everything they do is consistent with their purpose statement: Heritage Ukraine exists to shine God’s light in dark places for orphans, troubled children, children with special needs, and refugees.

Ways You Can Get involved:

Find out more about Slavik, Alonya and Heritage Ukraine on their website, http://www.heritageua.org/

Subscribe to their monthly newsletters to get an idea of what is going on that month and what they need.

Check out their Heritage Ukraine YouTube Channel to feel the energy, especially in the camp videos!

Like their Facebook page to get updates on Facebook.

Give financially.

Travel to Ukraine and volunteer with Heritage Ukraine on a short-term mission trip.

**************************************

This post is part of the Fighting for Those Who Can’t page at erinulerich.com

Fighting For Those Who Can’t is a resource to share the stories of people who are reaching out to the brokenhearted, the forgotten, and the helpless and to give practical ways others can reach out right where they are.

Water for Our Heart

I’ve been reading Psalm 65 this week, and I can’t get this phrase in verse 9 out of my head.

“You visit the earth and water it, you greatly enrich it; the river of God is full of water…”

The river of God is full of water. If I read this sentence to my kids they would roll their eyes and say “Mom, of course it’s full of water. It’s a RIVER.”

I know that.

It’s the word full that caught my eye. The river of God is full of water. It is not a trickling stream, evaporated by the hot sun before it reaches its destination. It is abundant, plentiful.

In an agricultural society, water is vital to survival. The land must have the water it needs in order for the seed to produce fruit. God provides that water.

In the care of our heart God also provides what we need. Our hearts are often dry and dusty, hardened by the lies we believe.

The enemy of our soul would love for us to believe that we are out of reach of God’s stream of grace. He would love for us to believe that God’s provision does not apply to us, that our sins are stacked too high, keeping His mercy from washing over us.

These lies dry us up.

The refreshing, life-giving truth?

God is a good God who hears our prayers and provides our every need. He is a God who is strong enough to calm the waves of chaos in our lives. He is a loving God who invites us into relationship and satisfies the deepest longings of our heart.

God is the hope of all the earth, because He created all the earth for hope.

How is your heart today?

When my heart is parched, I’ve found it’s because I’m avoiding the things that God provides to strengthen me.

I sabotage myself and say that God isn’t providing.

I start believing lies and falter in my fight for hope.

If this is where you are today, may I tell you that you are not alone? May I encourage you with these words?

The river of God is full of water and that water is available to you.

Fishes, Loaves, and Cookie Dough

“Wouldn’t you like to make a difference in someone else’s story?”

Karina wrapped her fingers around the podium and smiled as she looked out into the crowd.

“There is a person here who made a difference in my story and I am so grateful.”

10 years ago, Karina lived in an orphanage in Odessa, Ukraine. She was 12, and had no hope of a different life, no clue that God was working on her behalf.

10 years ago, a 4 year-old boy started praying for Karina’s adoption. He talked to everyone he met about her. He helped his mom make and sell cookies to raise money. In his winsome way he would say “Karina lives in an orphanage in Ukraine. She needs a family. Our friends want to adopt her. We are selling cookies to help them. Would you like to buy a cookie?”

People bought cookies. And prayed. And gave.

Nine years ago, Karina left the orphanage, no longer an orphan. In a moment she became a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter.

The four year-old is my Anderson, and I am the cookie-baking mom he helped. This journey changed Karina’s life, but it also changed mine.

I knew orphans existed “out there some where” but I didn’t know any. Suddenly this little girl tucked away in an orphanage across the world became a part of our daily discussions, prayers, and plans.

At first I was hesitant about helping. After all, my friends needed thousands of dollars. It felt impossible, too big to tackle.

But Anderson didn’t waver. He didn’t sit down and calculate exactly how many cookies, at 50 cents per cookie, it would take to raise thousands. He simply responded to a need and let God take care of the math.

He didn’t look at the plight of orphans as a whole and get overwhelmed. He saw the little girl God placed directly in our path. He knew how important his family was to him, and he wanted her to be in a family too.

Through this journey, God answered prayers and provided every single detail. He brought Karina home through the generosity, obedience, and willingness of many people.

This journey was much bigger than Anderson and me and cookies. And the results of Karina’s adoption are even bigger than Karina and her family. A beautiful ripple effect can be traced across the years. Other children have been adopted, orphan ministries have been supported, and along the way stories have been connected in ways only God could have designed.

As a little girl, Karina had no way of changing her path in life. She had no hope of anything except moving to the streets after she left the orphanage. But God used Hope Warriors, even a four year-old one, to reach into her hopeless circumstance and change her path for good.

Karina’s journey continues. Once without hope, she is now preparing to go back to Ukraine to reach out to children who are where she once was. She will have the chance to push against the hopelessness and helplessness on their behalf and point them toward lasting hope.

Sexual Addiction: Two Sides of the Coin

Sometimes there is no script for the things that happen to us in life. We don’t know what to do, so we try to figure it out on our own and just cope. Many times the way that we cope with life events leads us into addictions or into a relationship with an addict.

Addictions happen when we try to numb the pain in our life. We become addicted to the few moments of relief from the pain, and continue to seek out the thing or person that gave us that relief.

Addiction means – the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice. The Latin stem of the word actually means a giving over; to surrender. (dictionary.com)

It is surrendering to the darkness in our life.

Addiction of any kind operates in darkness and fills us with shame, but sexual addiction seems to be controlled by it. Shame is the voice that whispers mean things because it doesn’t want us to come out of the dark. It is a deadly fungus that grows stronger in silence and fear. It covers us like a raincoat so that we can’t feel God’s love raining down on us. It convinces us that hope, joy, forgiveness, and peace are great ideas – for everyone except us.

But here’s the truth about shame. It cannot survive in the light. It will threaten, howl, whine and beg us to stay cowered down in the darkness. But once we step into the light and share our story with others, its death grip begins to loosen.

Out in the light we can hear truth, we can feel God’s love, we can experience compassion from others who are also struggling. We can see that change is possible.

Fighting for hope often feels impossible when addiction is involved, no matter which side of the coin we are on. The truth is the more we fight for hope, the more warrior-like we become.

Hope Warriors push against the darkness, yelling “You will not win!” into the hopelessness that hangs over us like a fog. Hope Warriors let loose that war cry “What you meant for evil, God will use for good!”

Hope Warriors know that whatever is going on right now as you read this, the last chapter has not been written. There is still hope and it is worth fighting for.

Hope begins growing when we realize that the ways we’ve coped and acted all these years are not helping us. It continues to grow as we discover different tools and resources that help us. I want to share two resources with you today.

Forest Benedict writes to men and women stuck in sexual addiction in his book, Life After Lust.

He offers hope and practical direction as he shares his own story of addiction and recovery. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sexual Addiction Treatment Provider (SATP-C) living in Fresno, CA.

Forest shares the first chapter of his book here.

It is available in digital or paperback through Amazon. Click here to order.

Intimate Treason by Claudia Black, PHD and Cara Tripodi, LCSW is written to women and men who are partners of sex addicts.

“Those who act out sexually – whether through pornography, cybersex, prostitution, voyeurism, and/or multiple affairs – leave their partners reeling in rage, incredible shame, and isolation. In this taboo-shattering and practical guidebook, partners affected by sex addiction can learn to develop healthy boundaries and make positive changes in their lives. The skills-building exercises presented are designed to help partners better understand the disease of addiction and how it is affecting their relationship. Intimate Treason provides a path to healing that gives voice to partners’ truth as they travel on their own journey of recovery.” (summary on back cover)

Intimate Treason is also available through Amazon. Click here to order.

Sexual addiction is like a monster tornado swirling in the middle of a relationship. Although both partners are experiencing the harmful wind and hurling debris, they are each experiencing the tornado in completely different ways. If you or someone you love have been impacted by sexual addiction on either side of the coin, these resources could provide the first step on the road to recovery. Silencing shame and walking in the light takes courage and tenacity, and it brings out the Hope Warrior in us.

Hope is worth fighting for!

Both of these resources are available on Amazon. The links I’ve provided are Amazon Affiliate links, which doesn’t change the price of the resources, but it helps me as an Amazon Affiliate.

Brokenness

I’m drinking out of my favorite mug today and being reminded of brokenness.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t happy when my mug broke, but now I love it because it reminds me that our brokenness doesn’t disqualify us from fighting for hope. In fact, fighting for hope in the midst of our brokenness is what makes us Hope Warriors.

Sometimes our brokenness helps us connect with others who are struggling.

Sometimes our brokenness reminds us of our need for God. Sometimes He brings beauty out of our brokenness.

But always, always, we can be awesome, broken, and brave.

Sparks of Hope

Each of us fight battles as we live, day-by-day, in this broken world. If we keep our eyes on the battle we are sure to grow weary. When we recognize the sparks of hope around us, we find rest in the midst of our battle.

Sparks of hope are vital in the fight for hope because they awaken a quiet, fierce strength inside of us.

Sparks of hope remind us that we are warriors. Hope Warriors.

Sparks of hope stir our courage and remind us that hope is worth fighting for. Feeling courage reminds us that we are not meant to live life numb.

Sparks of hope are a reminder in the midst of our battle that there is a bigger story. And that our part of the bigger story is worth telling.

Sparks of hope sharpen our focus and our determination that the free fall will not define us and the darkness will not win.

The sparks of hope that give me courage usually involve words, beauty, and music.

A beautiful sunset reminds me of God’s faithfulness and His promise to never leave me.

A Bible verse on the drive through window of a coffee shop reminds my heart to hang on to hope.

A line in a movie may speak to me in a way the screenwriter never could have known.

The lyrics and music of a song reminds me that I am not alone. (This song also makes me dance.)

Sparks of hope remind us who we are and what we are fighting for.

What sparks of hope have you seen lately? I’d love to hear about it.

What Is A Hope Warrior?

My sister and I grew up watching Wonder Woman fight for justice every afternoon after school. We cheered as she deflected gunfire with her bracelets and wrapped bad guys in her Lasso of Truth. We spent many hours playing Wonder Woman, fighting against imaginary villains. We made bracelets out of duct tape and used rope for our own Lassos of Truth.

Our parents loved the Superman movies. At the end of these movies, everyone in the theater would clap and cheer when Superman saved the day.

Our family enjoys watching the old Batman television shows. My kids love it when the words “ZAP” and “POW” pop up during the fight scenes. And then there’s the way everything is labeled. The secret entrance to the bat cave, the bat-shark repellant that appeared on batman’s belt right before he battled a shark, the buttons on the bat computer.

It is inspiring when someone stands up to evil and wins, especially against unbelievable odds. We clap and cheer for our favorite super heroes, even though deep down we know victory is sure. Superman always saves the day, Wonder Woman always gets the bad guys and Batman will not rest until the villains are in Gotham jail.

In real life, however, the struggle doesn’t follow a script. We don’t figure out a solution between commercials. The warriors don’t have to change into a certain outfit to fight. And the villain doesn’t always have “bad guy” written all over him.

In real life, fighting for hope is a constant, costly battle that wears on us-mind, body and soul. A Hope Warrior is someone who engages in that battle because they do not want despair to have the last word. Hope Warriors have a quiet, fierce strength born out of a belief that circumstances do not define a situation.

Hope Warriors are as different as the battles they face, but they do have a few things in common.

Hope Warriors are real.

They don’t hide behind the word “fine”, and if you say “How are you?” they will probably answer honestly. Sometimes they even let loose on the expletives, because honestly, sometimes the thing that best describes a situation is a well-placed four letter word.

Hope Warriors Feel.

Hope Warriors aren’t the ones who hunker down and just try to make it through a situation. They feel the emotions. My friend Sara Littlejohn tells me often “Up and out, Erin. Let the emotions come up and out.” Stuffing emotions doesn’t make us strong. It makes the pressure build up until we reach our breaking point or look for ways to stay numb. And we weren’t meant to live life numb.

Hope Warriors go to counseling sessions because it will help them. They do the hard work of repair so that healing can happen. Hope Warriors step toward healthy. And they want that for those around them.

Hope Warriors reach out to help others.

As we fight for hope we recognize Hope Warriors around us and we cheer them on. We know how hard it is to keep hoping and we know that hope is worth fighting for. Hope Warriors need each other because there are days when our circumstances mock any bit of hope we feel.

Hope warriors are not people who have it all together. They are not people who give surface answers to the messiness of life. Hope warriors are people who know their own brokenness, who aren’t afraid of the brokenness they see in others. They are people who say “I’m with you. You are not alone.”

Are you wondering if you are a Hope Warrior? Take a look at your life. Has there been a time when you’ve stood before the darkness in your life and yelled (or even whispered) “You. Will. Not. Win.”

Hello there, Hope Warrior. I’m so glad you are here.