#thefightforhope – Page 6

God is With Us

Linger in the beauty of this truth. Savor the sweetness. God is with us.

Finding Hope in the Waiting (Part 1)

I’ve done a lot of waiting in my life. In fact, I can divide my life into things I’ve waited for:

When I was a kid, waiting for Christmas and my birthday were the biggest waiting events, of course. As the years went by I waited for a boyfriend, waited for a husband, waited for a baby, waited for a cure, waited for healing, waited for answers, and I am sure there is more waiting to come.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I should be good at it by now, right?

I stink at waiting.

I used to deal with waiting times by looking for a specific lesson in each period of waiting. I would tell myself “God is teaching me something. If I hurry up and learn it, the waiting will end.”

This formula for waiting was interwoven with another formula I lived by- a deal I made with God- the “If I do my best to live right, You will give me a good life” deal.

This formula for life worked somewhat until the waiting for a baby period of my life. When the wait reached beyond two years, I began looking for the lesson so that I could hurry up and learn it and become a mom. I was convinced that God was teaching me to be content. So here’s how the process unfolded.

I would work myself up into a state of great contentedness, and announce loudly about how content I was. After a while I would grow less content and pout and get angry and forget that I was supposed to be content. Then I would get mad because my formula wasn’t working, and, I would point out to God that He wasn’t keeping His part of the I do my best, You give me a good life deal. (Did I mention that God never actually agreed to this deal that I made up?)

Then after a while, I would go into another state of great contentedness and the cycle would go again. And again. And at the end of these cycles, my poor confused husband would say things like. “But yesterday you said you were content.” And I would throw things and yell really profound things like, “Well today I’m NOT!”

After 9 years and 2 miscarriages, I began to rethink my formula and my deal with God. Maybe something bigger was going on, something more than learning the lesson.

After one of our miscarriages, my husband very wisely pointed out (after making sure I didn’t have anything in my hands to throw), “Erin, your desire to be a mother is from God. He has given that to you, and He will put it to use in some way. It may not be through our own children. It may be through adoption, or teaching Sunday School, or being in a ministry to children, or in a way we can’t even see right now. But He will use it. It won’t be wasted.”

I believe God gave him those words, because they pierced right through my heart.

In all my formulaic-living and deal-making with God, I had forgotten that this was about more than wanting children. I had forgotten that God’s heart was toward me. That He had given this desire for His reasons. And He would bring His reasons about at just the right time.

And in those moments, when I pictured God’s tenderness toward me and His plans for me, trust began to grow. Before that moment, I trusted God with my salvation, but I didn’t really trust His heart for me in day-to-day life. Because of my deal (the one I made up), I was convinced that God was watching, waiting for me to slip up. I saw God as critiquing me instead of gazing lovingly at His child.

But when I caught a glimpse of His heart for me, my view of God changed. Instead of looking at God with my arms crossed defensively and my chin raised defiantly, prepared for His criticism, I could approach Him as a child, grasp His hand and say “I’m having trouble with this, will You help me?”

I’ve found that the times of waiting in my life have been about much more than learning the lesson. I have learned many lessons during the waiting times. But, more importantly, during the waiting I’ve learned to trust God’s heart toward me. And it makes me want to turn toward Him more and more.

I still stink at waiting, and I have been known to still throw an item or two, but I am finding that the more I focus on God’s love toward me, and trust His heart toward me, the more I get to know Him during the waiting times. And knowing Him is the deepest desire of my heart.

May the God of all hope and comfort draw you close during your waiting times too.

Fighting For Hope During Difficult Times

Ever felt like you’ve lost your footing in your own life? Like you just want to stop the world, catch your breath, have a complete thought or two – with a mocha latte, of course.

Yeah, me too.

At our house, I am discovering that having 3 pre-teens is almost as intense as having 3 toddlers, although the intensity is emotional instead of physical. We are experiencing a constant flow of hurt feelings, roller-coaster emotions, and confusion. And that “we” definitely includes me.

When I lose my footing, I tend to react. Reacting doesn’t restore relationships, it doesn’t build bridges. It’s more like a tornado tearing through a town.

So today I slowed down with a mocha latte and discovered this beautiful song, River God, by Nicole Nordeman. The words reminded me that God works through difficult times to shape us.

I hope it will strengthen you as you fight for hope today.

When It Feels Like the Darkness Is Winning

As I’ve watched the news, as I’ve lived in my own shoes, as I’ve walked beside friends, this question keeps coming:

Where is hope?

Where is hope when the world is going crazy, when things spin out of control, when it feels like the darkness is going to suffocate all good out of existence?

Current world events will cause us to ask this question. An honest look in the mirror will as well. In this broken world we struggle with addictions. We have loved ones caught in the snare of pornography, alcoholism, or in the cycles of anxiety and depression.

And many days it seems the darkness is winning. With each stumble, each setback, the darkness seems to close in, mocking our desperate prayers for hope, for deliverance, for change.

On these days, where is hope?

Hope doesn’t swoop in like Superman to save the day. It starts as a spark that grows over time.

I am a big fan of time.

I remember when the 10:00 news report was followed by the National Anthem and that ended the news for the day. In fact, it ended all television programming until early the next morning.

Hours of wonderful silence followed.

And that silence that gave people time. Time to think, to cool off, to rest. Time to allow ideas and thoughts to marinate. Time for people to figure out what they really thought about issues.

When it feel like the darkness is winning we tend to react, and more often than not, fear and anger win the day. Fear and anger drive out hope and replace it with hopelessness. “Hopelessness produces a refusal to see the potential of a new, bright, and good day… ” (page 86, The Healing Path) When fear and anger are driving, and hopelessness is thriving, we aren’t at our best.

Time also gives a chance for hope to grow.

Not a cross-your-fingers-and-hope-for-the-best kind of hope, but a hope that “enables us to walk bravely into the future, confident things can be better than they are today.” (The Healing Path, Dan B. Allender)

And we need hope because we are raising children who will be the next leaders, voters, the next people of this world. Our kids need to see us fighting for hope because hope is so very important. Hope allows us to be courageous and compassionate and I believe that is the kind of people our world needs.

Hope clings to the belief that this is not the end. God will work. Good will come from this. “The quintessential cry of hope is found in the remark Joseph made after experiencing devastating physical, sexual, and emotional abuse: “God turned into good what you meant for evil.” (Genesis 50:20, NLT)” (The Healing Path)

I believe that the more we fight for hope, the more we will see sparks of hope grow into a flame. Fighting for hope will help us communicate to each other with respect, even those who are on opposing sides of an issue.

So instead of shouting across the canyon at the spouse who is struggling with an addiction, or at the person whose lifestyle looks different from ours, or at people who drink out of red cups at Christmas, or at people who say open the borders, or close the borders….

Fighting for hope will enable us to sit down together, listen to each other, wade through the fear and anger, and find an answer for a new, bright, and good day.

Keep fighting for hope, dear friend. It is important for our lives, our world and our future.

The Chapter I Didn’t Want In my Story

Has the story of your life ever taken an unexpected turn and left you sitting in the dark, wondering what happened?

There are chapters in the story of each of our lives that we didn’t ask for, and if given a choice we would have said “No thank you,” for who in their right mind would say yes to trauma, suffering or disaster?

The chapter I didn’t want in my story is my family’s journey with Epilepsy.

Our journey began on a Saturday afternoon in November, 2006. It had been an ordinary day, filled with caring for Anderson, who was 3, and Maggie who had just turned 1. The colorful leaves and the crisp breeze drifting through my open windows made the walls of our home seem stifling. I bundled everyone up to go outside. It was a slow process. I was very pregnant with Ellen, waddling around getting everyone’s socks and shoes together. Then Maggie’s seizure hit and suddenly I was in ambulance, sirens blaring, wondering what happened to my normal day.

Maggie continued to have seizures every few months, and we had no idea what was causing them. When Ellen was 18 months old, she began having seizures as well. Another chapter I didn’t want in my story.

My sweet girls in the middle of this unexpected journey.

After a million questions, hours of research, and keeping a detailed journal, we figured out that heat, internal or external, was the trigger for their seizures. We also found a medication combination that worked well. Ellen has been seizure free for 4 years, and Maggie has been seizure free for 3 years. They don’t remember ever having seizures. It’s such a twist of irony that the biggest trauma I’ve experienced thus far as a parent is non-existent to my children.

But I’m so glad.I don’t want them controlled by fear. Fear eats away at hope. And at 8 and 9 years old, there is a lot to be hopeful about.

I did not feel hopeful in those early years, filled with uncertainty. The triplets of destruction – anger, fear, and despair – had a hold on me for a while.

Though things have settled, our journey hits me full force at the beginning of each school year when I meet with the girls’ teachers. I hope we never have an episode at school, but if it does happen, I want the adults caring for my girls to be as prepared as possible. And I realize that I may also be preparing them to help another child down the road.

I still have days when I wish we weren’t on this journey. I have days when my mind goes too far into the what ifs. The fight for hope keeps me balanced on those days. The fight for hope keeps my focus on what I CAN do.

My goal through this journey has been to allow my children to have as normal a childhood as possible and still be safe. We have learned to modify our activities. We go to the beach in October instead of the heat of summer. We play outside in spring and fall as much as possible. The girls are aware of their limitations, but I never want them to be defined by their limitations.

I want to travel this road well. Although they may not remember having seizures, one day my children may be right where I am, raising children who have seizures. I want to be able to offer them hope for their journey.

I don’t understand exactly how, but God has worked through this unwanted chapter in my life. Over the years, He has woven beauty into the sorrow, reaching places in my heart that would have otherwise gone untouched and unchanged. He has used this journey to build my “fighting for hope” muscles. And I need those muscles to experience joy in the unwanted chapters of my life.

#thefightforhope

The Hope We Were Made For And the Hope We Settle For

Hope seems abstract, but we use, or refuse to use it, every day.

We study for tests in hopes of making a good grade. We make plans, hopeful that they will take place. We give up on a goal, convinced that we are a hopeless failure.

We involve hope in our lives because we were created by the God of hope. We were wired for hope – His hope – before our world became broken. As a result, our hearts long for things to be whole, the way they were meant to be.

“Hope is the quiet, sometimes incessant call to dream for the future. The present moment is not enough to satisfy our souls completely. No matter how good or bad, the now leaves us hungering for more. And our insatiable quest for more is the root system of biblical hope.” (The Healing Path)

And though this hope is filled with longing, it is steady, because it is rooted in the person and character of God.

When we see injustice, when we feel let down in relationships, Biblical hope presents us with two simultaneous truths. It assures us that this is not the way things were meant to be, and reassures us that it is still worth the effort to get as close as possible to the ideal.

“This type of hope enables us to walk bravely into the future, confident things can be better than they are today.” (The Healing Path)

The Reformation Study Bible describes hope in these words: “Hope is certain; it is a ‘sure and steadfast anchor of the soul.’ Hope calls us to be patient. Hope gives us strength and confidence for running the race, fighting the good fight, and enduring the tribulations that continue in this life.”

Can you hear the battle cry resounding out of that definition? Words like strength, confidence, and endurance – tools that we need to fight for hope in this broken world.

If this type of hope gives us this, why would we settle for anything less?

But we do. We settle for a type of hope that fits this description: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. (dictionary.com) We settle for a cross- your- fingers- and -hope-for-the -best scenario.

This hope hinges on circumstances, and when it fails it drops like lead, dragging us into emotional darkness. This hope is a counterfeit of the hope we were made for. It has similarities, but no lasting value.

“Hope cannot be killed, not ever, but it can be drugged numb and sleepy. Even then it will still function, but in a more material and simplistic manner akin to wishing to win the lottery or anticipating the purchase of a new car.” (The Healing Path)

There is no real, lasting hope without our real and lasting God. He created us to live this adventure called life using His definition of hope. His character is the basis of this hope, so to experience this hope we must know Him. We must know Him based on who He says He is, not based on what we’ve been told about Him or how we’ve defined Him.

We come face to face with Him in His Word. The pages of the Bible are filled with His messages, so that we can know who He is, and who we are in relation to Him.

I realize that the Bible is used by many to act either as a band aid (“Read this verse and get a better attitude”) or a truth stick to bash anyone who has an opposing view. If this has been your experience, dear friend, I am so sorry. God gave us the Bible to tenderly bring our hearts to Him. The Bible is not a weapon to use on each other. It is a weapon to use against darkness, but never to use against those searching to step out of the darkness into His light. In the pages of the Bible we discover that we are deeply loved by God.

In Zephaniah 3:17, God looks at us tenderly, singing songs of joy over us. This verse reminds me of the way we look at our children. When they are born we are overwhelmed with love for them. They have done nothing to deserve that love, and yet we lavish it on them. We look at them in wonder, we sing lullabies over them, and we want the very best for them. Our love for our children is a dim reflection of God’s lavish love for us.

This is the hope we were made for. Hope that does not waver with circumstances but remains as steady as His love for us. This is hope worth fighting for.

I’m so glad you are here!

My hope is that this blog will be a place of hope and refreshment for all who visit.

I believe each one of us is wired for hope. Because the world around us is broken, we have to fight for hope, sometimes with every breath.

There is no script for much of life and at times our hope wavers on the edge of the chasm called despair. Our fight for hope in all areas of our lives takes great courage.

“Hope is by far one of the most dangerous commitments we make in life.” Dan B. Allender

My hope is that this will be a community where we, as fighters for hope, can encourage and challenge each other to be brave and to keep fighting.