hope – Page 6 – Erin Ulerich

Warriors Among Us

I recently had my first manicure-pedicure nail salon experience.

I climbed in the car, feeling pampered and refreshed. “I got to hear part of one lady’s story and we talked about God.” I told my husband. “I wonder if that is a typical nail salon experience.”

He started shaking his head before I finished my sentence. “Erin, nobody has experiences like yours.”

Stephen shakes his head at me. A lot. Even after being married to me for 23 years, there are many areas where he can’t figure out why I do the things I do. And talking to strangers is at the top of the list.

I talk to strangers. A lot. I tell my kids not to, but I am a total hypocrite when it comes to this.

Conversations with strangers are always, always interesting. One time I met a lady who told me about her former life hundreds of years ago. I live in the deep South, so I’d never met anyone who actually believed they were reincarnated. See? Interesting.

Now, there was that one conversation on the adult diaper aisle that was more interesting than I bargained for. I now avoid that aisle at all cost, and if I can’t, I definitely avoid making eye contact with anyone on that aisle.

I’ve made great friends by talking to strangers. I met my friend Kim at a writer’s group meeting over 20 years ago. She and I hit it off so well I took her home for supper and we’ve been friends ever since. She is one of the many Hope Warriors in my life.

I also once asked Maritza, who was a Kroger cashier at the time, to help me become more fluent in Spanish. She asked if I would help her children with English. Another friendship was born, along with some pretty humorous cross-cultural experiences. To this day Stephen does not trust me to translate anything in Spanish. Just because I might have tricked him into eating a cow tongue taco that one time.

We often underestimate the power of a smile or the timeliness of an encouraging word. I know their power because I have been blessed many times by the words of a total stranger. (Except for that diaper aisle convo.)

Days after my second miscarriage, the words of a stranger comforted me as I stood in the Walmart pharmacy. After 9 years of marriage, and years of waiting for a baby, I was absolutely heartbroken. This kind lady wasn’t afraid of the tears streaming down my face as she offered words of comfort and shared her own miscarriage experience with me. In those few moments she let me know I wasn’t alone.

A few years later my daughter had a seizure while we were shopping. A stranger prayed over her and stayed with me until the ambulance arrived.

One day at the eye doctor, one of the technicians began telling me about losing her father unexpectedly. Even as she spoke of her sorrow, her faith in God and in His care shone clearly. Within a few moments we were both praising God.

Then there was the lady in the grocery store who saw my numb, tired look as my kids ran in circles around my grocery cart. Anderson was holding a giant pack of toilet paper on his head pretending to be some kind of animal. She cautiously leaned toward me and said “It does get better.”

These interchanges happened in the middle of busy settings and some lasted only a few minutes. But they have been important over the course of my life. They happened because a stranger reached out of their world and entered mine for just a second to offer encouragement, comfort, or just plain kindness.

I have met so many hope warriors by talking to strangers. People who are fighting for hope, believing that things can change, and clinging to the God who holds them up. People who have encouraged me to trust God’s hand, who reminded me of God’s love toward me even when I’ve felt like I was sitting in the darkness.

Our hearts crave hope. We were made for hope because we were created by the God of hope. Sometimes we forget that, sometimes our hope wavers, and it takes the kindness of a stranger to remind us of the truth. And other times, we have the privilege of stretching out a hand to others to say “You are not alone. Hope is worth fighting for!”

Stephen was with me one day in Subway when a woman came up to me and said “You look like a person who prays. Will you pray for me? Everything in my life is going wrong.” She sat down with us for a few minutes. We listened to her story and offered her words of truth. I tried to remind her that her mistakes can be forgiven and that God’s grace offers each one of us another chance.

As she walked away, Stephen looked at me and, of course, shook his head. My sweet husband can keep shaking his head until all his hair turns grey. I’ll keep looking for Hope Warriors among us.

Have you ever been blessed by the words of a stranger? I’d love to hear about it!

When You Don’t Feel Like A Ninja

My daughter threw a sticky ninja onto our dining room ceiling this week. He has been there all week, just holding on. This sticky ninja perfectly describes the climate of our home All five of us are just hanging on while school-chaos, work-chaos, life-chaos swirls all around us.

We are usually pleasant people to be around. Pleasant people who can speak in complete sentences. But in this state of done-ness, we’ve settled for conversations that sound like:

She did it to me first!

Stop looking at me!

Go away!

Turn that music down!

It’s as if we are all wearing sandpaper on our skin, constantly abrasive, constantly irritated.

And our emotions are all over the place. Yesterday I had one child skipping around, excited about a field trip, and one child sobbing on my shoulder, I’m sick of school! Then I sat down and cried for half an hour about my son’s upcoming graduation from 6th grade. They were happy-celebrating-a-milestone tears, but they were still tears.

This milestone is hitting me hard and my husband is baffled. It’s just 6th grade, he keeps saying. But it’s so much more. I feel like we’ve come so far. I went from holding an infant, feeling the full responsibility of parenthood for the first time, to beholding a 100 pound man-cub standing in front of me. It’s just a bit overwhelming.

What about you? How are you these days?

Is life swirling around you, too? Are you just holding on, waiting for a chance to catch your breath? Are you feeling D-O-N-E?

I keep telling my 6th grader. You are so close to the finish line. Keep going, keep doing your best. You will be glad that you finished well.

And I want to whisper those same words to your heart and mine. Keep going, keep doing your best. Keep fighting for hope, even in the darkness. We never know how this stage in our journey will impact the next. We never really know who is inspired by our perseverance until it’s all over.

Hang on, my friend! Hang on like a sticky ninja!

Fighting For Those Who Can’t

I love this picture.

This, to me, is a picture of hope. It looks like it was painted by a happy girl who is excited about a birthday or a special occasion.

But it wasn’t. And that is what makes this a perfect picture of hope. This little hope fairy in all of its pink glory was painted by a young girl in an orphanage in Ukraine.

The orphanage she lives in is drab. Grey and neutral colors are everywhere, except for the art room tucked away in a large classroom on the second floor. It seems as though all the colors in the rainbow have been reserved for that one room in the entire orphanage.

And this is where our little hope artist painted a sweet fairy with her arms open wide, inviting life in with a smile on her face.

This little girl painted hope when her circumstances pointed toward hopelessness. She painted hope when nothing encouraged it. She painted hope even though nothing changed day after day.

This girl is a fighter. A hope warrior.

This picture makes me want to stretch out my hand to encourage this young hope warrior. I want to say “Don’t give up! Keep hoping. Keep your arms open toward life!” I know that there are days when her circumstances mock the spark of hope in her heart. I can hear their dark whispers: “You are nothing. Nobody wants you. What a waste.”

I want her to win.

I want her to experience the beauty of redemption .

Fighting for hope means clinging to redemption. It means believing that God can redeem- buy back, rescue from loss, ransom in full – situations and relationships in our lives. Because of the beauty of redemption we can stand firm and yell what Dan Allender calls “the quintessential cry of hope” in The Healing Path

God turned into good what you meant for evil. (Genesis 50:20, NLT)

I call it the war cry of hope fighters.

Fighting for hope means believing change can happen. It means leaning forward into each day, fighting for traction, for momentum that can move us forward – even an inch.

And that’s the thing about fighting for hope. As we fight we recognize other hope warriors and we want to cheer for them. We know how hard it is to keep hoping and we know that hope is worth fighting for.

Fighting for hope for those who can’t means reaching out a hand of encouragement to speak truth: This is not the end. God will work. And in the reminding, God shines and the darkness fades.

Would you like an opportunity to encourage a fellow hope warrior?

Let me introduce my friends Slavik and Alonya. They live out the beauty of redemption and they are some of the finest hope warriors I’ve met.

They began the Nasledie HeritageFoundation because they wanted to serve orphans and troubled children in Ukraine. They saw great needs all around them and began reaching out. Instead of getting overwhelmed and saying “The problem is too big. What difference could we make?” they stepped out in prayer and began making a difference in the lives of children.

Today they have teams that go into 18 different orphanages to do winter and summer camps, Christmas programs, and fun activities wrapped in the hope that only Christ can bring.

And when war began in Ukraine, they saw an opportunity to reach out to the refugees pouring into their city and they raised money to open a place to minister to these people in need.

To find out more about their amazing ministry check out their Facebook page – Nasledie Heritage Foundation – and their blog at nasledieukraine.blogspot.com. This site shares the story behind the ministry as well as opportunities to get involved.

Fighting for hope on behalf of those who can’t nurtures a spark of hope in their lives. And hope only needs a spark to grow.

Keep On Fighting

If your fight for hope isn’t looking like you thought it would, if you feel discouraged about your journey, if you just want to sit down and give up, this song is for you today.

Keep on fighting – Out of the dark into the light – It’s not over

Hope is rising – Never give in – Never give up – It’s not over

The Beauty of Redemption

I love words and meanings. Lately I’ve had my sights set on the word Redemption and these hope-filled phrases: to ransom completely, to rescue from loss, to release, preserve, deliver by any means, rescue.

The Old and New Testaments paint a beautiful picture of redemption through verses like these:

“But God will ransom my soul from the power of Sheol…” Psalm 49:15

“Into Your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.” Psalm 31:5

“The Lord redeems the life of His servants, none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.” Psalm 34:22

“He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14

From these verses we see that God is a God who fully rescues, who delivers by any means, who buys back.

I think this is beautiful because there is a lot in my life that needs to be redeemed. This truth is comforting: If God fully rescues and preserves and delivers by any means then my fight for hope is not in vain.

Fighting for hope means clinging to redemption. It means believing that God can redeem- buy back, rescue from loss, ransom in full – situations and relationships in our lives. Because of the beauty of redemption we can stand firm and yell what Dan Allender calls “the quintessential cry of hope” in The Healing Path

God turned into good what you meant for evil. (Genesis 50:20, NLT)

I call it the war cry of hope fighters.

Fighting for hope means believing change can happen. It means leaning forward into each day, fighting for traction, for momentum that can move us forward – even an inch.

It means going to counseling to find out why an addiction has a hold in our lives. It means believing that a day will come when that hold is broken.

It means eating well and taking care of ourselves. It means doing what is best, not easiest. It might mean moving closer to someone who is hurting, or it might mean pulling away from someone who is self-destructing.

Sometimes it means waiting.

But fighting for hope always means believing God will bring good where darkness meant it for evil.

I clearly remember the day God asked me to stop running and become a fighter for hope.

Before that day I knew that trials were part of life in this broken world and that God could help me through, but I had no clue that God would ever ask me to walk through a trial purposefully without knowing the outcome.

We were seven years into our marriage and the masks we’d been wearing were coming unglued and sins hidden too long in the dark began pouring out.

I wish I could say that I accepted my fighter of hope status with great zeal. Instead I sat weeping on the edge of my bed “I can’t do this. It’s too hard and it hurts too much. I want out.” And God answered me as clearly as if He’d said it aloud. “I want you to walk through this. I will be with you.”

That was 16 years ago this month. And the journey has been filled with chasms where I got lost, and mountain tops where I thought the trials were over. In the dark chasms I lost hope, I lost my footing, and forgot that God ever promised to be with me.

But he was with me through every step. He is still with me. And when I begin listening to lies whispered in those dark chasms He sends in truth so I can find my way out of the darkness.

Things do not have to stay where they are right now because God is a God who fully rescues, at all cost, buys back, and restores.

The beauty of redemption.

Do you have a Redemption Chapter in the story of your life? Or are you in the middle of a journey now? Can you see the beauty of redemption in your story?

Christmas Hope

I’m typing this in the days between Christmas and the New Year. The days when we are coming off of the crazy December schedule. The days when I’m least likely to know what day of the week it actually is. The days when I can just breathe.

But I didn’t want to leave the Christmas season without writing about Christmas Hope, because this year this truth grabbed my heart in a way that left me breathless.

John 1: 14 describes Jesus’ birth with these words “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…”

He calls Jesus the Word made flesh.

The more I’ve let this phrase turn over in my mind, the more I’ve fallen in love with Jesus, the more I’ve seen that it really is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance, and the more I’ve been convinced that others need to see God’s kindness flowing through His people before they are going to want to know God.

The Word of God has a very specific job and an all- encompassing reach. ^“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:22)

In his commentary on Hebrews, John Calvin says “This means that it [the Word] tests the whole soul of a man. It inquires into his thoughts and it searches his will and all his desires. It means that there is nothing so hard or firm in a man, nothing so deeply hidden that the efficacy of the Word does not penetrate through to it.”

God has given His Word the task of penetrating to the most secret thoughts of the heart.

In His interactions with people throughout the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, Jesus did exactly that. He brought to light the thoughts from the innermost recesses of hearts. He scattered the darkness so that people could see Him.

The Word became flesh and drew sinners to Himself.

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.” John 3:17

He came to say There is something missing in your life. I know you sense that. I know the darkness is overwhelming. I have come to shed light and give you life.

In a religious society that thought rule-keeping was the way to holiness, Jesus taught that obeying out of love for Him was the way to know Him.

We can get to know Jesus by reading through the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. In these books we can see His gentleness with those who were struggling, with those who didn’t even know they needed Him until He spoke to them. We can see His compassion.

The Christmas Hope is that Jesus came to show us what God is like in order to draw us into relationship with Him. He knows us and wants us to know Him. The Christmas Hope is that this broken world is not the way it was meant to be and it’s not the way things will always be.

When Jesus begins to scatters the darkness inside our hearts, His light will shine into our world, and those around us will be drawn to Him. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us to bring hope and light into a dark world.

And today, whether it is Christmas time when you read this or not, I hope you will allow the Word of God to touch your heart in the places where the darkness has convinced you there is no hope. I hope you will ask the Word of God to shine His light, scatter the darkness, and show you what it truly means to know Him and live.

Finding Hope in the Waiting (Part 2)

When we can’t see the end of the waiting, it is easy to lose hope. Finding Hope in the Waiting (Part 1) describes how God used a decade of waiting to draw me closer to Him.

During the waiting I was frustrated that God was making me wait. I let Him know just how frustrated I was, but I never took into account that He knows how hard waiting is. He knows because He also had to wait.

The first Christmas was the answer to a very long time of waiting on both sides of eternity. God’s people had been waiting for God to deliver them. And during all that time, He had been waiting too.

Throughout the Old Testament, His heart cry is repeated: “They shall be my people, and I will be their God.” And after all that waiting, at just the right time, He stepped into history. He stepped into our space and time, not to thunder from a mountain top, but to become one of us.

He came to deliver us, but also to be with us. To walk in this broken world, to feel the pull of sin, to feel every emotion we feel so that He can be with us in every way.

Why would He do this?

“Christ has put on our feelings along with our flesh, not only to show Himself to be truly man, but to be taught by that very experience how to help our miseries; and that, not because as Son of God He needed such instruction, but because only thus could we grasp the concern He has for our salvation. Whenever we are laboring under the infirmities of our flesh, let us bear in mind that the Son of God has experienced them too, to encourage us by His power in case we are overwhelmed by them.” (Calvin’s New Testament Commentaries, Hebrews and 1&2 Peter)

He did this to show us the depth of His love, grace, and mercy toward us. He walked in our shoes so that we would trust Him with our hearts.

This love, grace, and mercy is described in Hebrews 4:12-16.

^“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

After describing how nothing is hidden from God – not even the thoughts deep within our hearts that we would never bring to the light of day – in case we start to despair, the writer of Hebrews begins to describe how Jesus was tempted in every way as we are. He fought the battles waging inside of us – each one of us – and he WON! – not to gloat over us, but to say “I know the battle. Come closer and find your strength in Me. Come, and receive forgiveness. Take my hand and I will fill you with hope. Come to the throne of grace in your time of need, with confidence, to find help.”

What would our lives look like if we really believed that He is with us? If we felt His comforting arm around our shoulder when fear haunts us, when grief stalks us, when hopelessness threatens to drag us down?

Would things be different if we remembered that He also wrestled with fear, that He fought against grief, that He destroyed hopelessness so that we could too.

What if we cried out to Him and heard Him say, “I’m with you. We will walk through this together.” or “I created all that you see. I hold all things together. If I hold the molecules of your body together, I can work in the details of your life.”

And when we seek to know Jesus, we find it comforting that nothing is hidden from God, because it means that God knows everything about us. He ended the waiting time and became one of us so that we could know Him, too.

God is With Us

Linger in the beauty of this truth. Savor the sweetness. God is with us.

Finding Hope in the Waiting (Part 1)

I’ve done a lot of waiting in my life. In fact, I can divide my life into things I’ve waited for:

When I was a kid, waiting for Christmas and my birthday were the biggest waiting events, of course. As the years went by I waited for a boyfriend, waited for a husband, waited for a baby, waited for a cure, waited for healing, waited for answers, and I am sure there is more waiting to come.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I should be good at it by now, right?

I stink at waiting.

I used to deal with waiting times by looking for a specific lesson in each period of waiting. I would tell myself “God is teaching me something. If I hurry up and learn it, the waiting will end.”

This formula for waiting was interwoven with another formula I lived by- a deal I made with God- the “If I do my best to live right, You will give me a good life” deal.

This formula for life worked somewhat until the waiting for a baby period of my life. When the wait reached beyond two years, I began looking for the lesson so that I could hurry up and learn it and become a mom. I was convinced that God was teaching me to be content. So here’s how the process unfolded.

I would work myself up into a state of great contentedness, and announce loudly about how content I was. After a while I would grow less content and pout and get angry and forget that I was supposed to be content. Then I would get mad because my formula wasn’t working, and, I would point out to God that He wasn’t keeping His part of the I do my best, You give me a good life deal. (Did I mention that God never actually agreed to this deal that I made up?)

Then after a while, I would go into another state of great contentedness and the cycle would go again. And again. And at the end of these cycles, my poor confused husband would say things like. “But yesterday you said you were content.” And I would throw things and yell really profound things like, “Well today I’m NOT!”

After 9 years and 2 miscarriages, I began to rethink my formula and my deal with God. Maybe something bigger was going on, something more than learning the lesson.

After one of our miscarriages, my husband very wisely pointed out (after making sure I didn’t have anything in my hands to throw), “Erin, your desire to be a mother is from God. He has given that to you, and He will put it to use in some way. It may not be through our own children. It may be through adoption, or teaching Sunday School, or being in a ministry to children, or in a way we can’t even see right now. But He will use it. It won’t be wasted.”

I believe God gave him those words, because they pierced right through my heart.

In all my formulaic-living and deal-making with God, I had forgotten that this was about more than wanting children. I had forgotten that God’s heart was toward me. That He had given this desire for His reasons. And He would bring His reasons about at just the right time.

And in those moments, when I pictured God’s tenderness toward me and His plans for me, trust began to grow. Before that moment, I trusted God with my salvation, but I didn’t really trust His heart for me in day-to-day life. Because of my deal (the one I made up), I was convinced that God was watching, waiting for me to slip up. I saw God as critiquing me instead of gazing lovingly at His child.

But when I caught a glimpse of His heart for me, my view of God changed. Instead of looking at God with my arms crossed defensively and my chin raised defiantly, prepared for His criticism, I could approach Him as a child, grasp His hand and say “I’m having trouble with this, will You help me?”

I’ve found that the times of waiting in my life have been about much more than learning the lesson. I have learned many lessons during the waiting times. But, more importantly, during the waiting I’ve learned to trust God’s heart toward me. And it makes me want to turn toward Him more and more.

I still stink at waiting, and I have been known to still throw an item or two, but I am finding that the more I focus on God’s love toward me, and trust His heart toward me, the more I get to know Him during the waiting times. And knowing Him is the deepest desire of my heart.

May the God of all hope and comfort draw you close during your waiting times too.

Fighting For Hope During Difficult Times

Ever felt like you’ve lost your footing in your own life? Like you just want to stop the world, catch your breath, have a complete thought or two – with a mocha latte, of course.

Yeah, me too.

At our house, I am discovering that having 3 pre-teens is almost as intense as having 3 toddlers, although the intensity is emotional instead of physical. We are experiencing a constant flow of hurt feelings, roller-coaster emotions, and confusion. And that “we” definitely includes me.

When I lose my footing, I tend to react. Reacting doesn’t restore relationships, it doesn’t build bridges. It’s more like a tornado tearing through a town.

So today I slowed down with a mocha latte and discovered this beautiful song, River God, by Nicole Nordeman. The words reminded me that God works through difficult times to shape us.

I hope it will strengthen you as you fight for hope today.