Even When We Feel Alone, We Are Not Alone

Flashpoint is a television series about a fictional elite tactical unit called the Strategic Response Unit (SRU). They are an emergency response team.  In each episode, this team faces a threatening situation that requires them to swing into action. Often, when the negotiator of the group talks to the person creating the emergency, he tries to figure out what brought this person to this point of extreme action. And when he gets behind the reason for the extreme emotions, I’ve noticed that he says. “I get it. You aren’t alone.”

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Through very intense, fictional situations, Flashpoint fleshes out this truth: When we feel alone, we make very bad decisions.

In my book, Angkura: The Fight for Hope, the main character is a 16 year-old who feels alone. And she makes a poor relationship choice because she doesn’t want to feel alone. But throughout the story, as she learns how deeply she is loved, and that she is not alone, she begins making choices motivated by courage instead of fear – the fear of being alone.

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We all have a fear of being alone, of being misunderstood, of not being valued, of feeling disconnected.

And when we feel those things, we often make our own poor choices in order to avoid feeling those things. We may seek to numb the pain, or we grasp at any relationship that we think will help us not feel that way.

This is the basic, broken, human condition.

The beautiful, glorious truth is that we are not alone. We are of great value to the God who formed us, and we are only disconnected as long as we keep Him at a distance.

It isn’t surprising that the enemy of our souls works overtime to make sure we feel alone. We were created for fellowship with God and with other people, and that is where the enemy strikes.

It’s a very effective strategy. And we can only fight his strategy with truth.

Psalm 139:1-18 paints a beautiful picture of the way God knows us and cares for us, intimately, gently, completely.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
 If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

I get it. You are not alone.  These words are such a comfort, and there is good reason for this. We weren’t meant to be alone. And we aren’t.

Have You Been Introduced?

The way we meet God seems backwards to me.

We are introduced to God through someone else. It’s amazing that God trusts this introduction to us, especially when we are so likely to misrepresent Him. It’s really an important introduction.

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Our introduction to God is important because the way we view God and the way we think He views us are important. What we believe about these two questions influence our life: “How do I view God?” and “How does God view me?” Our answer to these questions determine our reaction to God’s words of “I am with you.”

I know people who are convinced God is out to get them. I know others who keep God at a distance because they are sure He looks at them with a disappointed frown. These people might say that God is good, loving, and forgiving, but their life shows what they deep-down, really believe. They don’t draw comfort from God’s words of “I am with you” because they don’t believe that God is for them.

I don’t remember my very first introduction to God. I remember the Gideons coming to our school and handing out New Testaments, I remember going to church with my grandmothers when I was younger, and I remember Sunday School at their churches. I remember going to retreats and lock-ins with my friends at their churches. My mother took us to church when I was in middle school, which was the first taste I had of being part of a community. I have no doubt that the seed of faith was planted and watered in the midst of all of these memories. And I am sure that these experiences played a part in me seeking out a relationship with God when I was in the ninth grade.

But the most in-depth, real-life conversations I had about God was with my tennis partner, Nona. I was a new believer, hungry to know God, and Nona spent time talking with me, answering my questions, and pointing me back to Him. (Just in case you don’t remember high school, there are LOTS of things happening that can make you question God’s presence, His care, His involvement in our every-day circumstances. AP Biology is only one of those things.)

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We talked after tennis practice, often until dark, and the sunsets over the cotton and soybean fields were spectacular. I realize that the sun sets every night, but it felt like God painted sunsets with especially vibrant colors on the nights we sat on the tennis courts talking about Him. It felt like He painted them just for us.

I am so thankful for the way I was introduced to God. Since then, there have been other people in my life who have presented God’s holiness in a way that communicated Him as stern and distant. They focused on our sinfulness and unworthiness without mentioning the abundance of His lavish love or the bridge of His amazing, life-giving grace. I realize now that this slant probably had more to do with their view of God and their life-story, but it made an impact on me as a new believer.

God gives us the great privilege of introducing others to Him. The best introduction points them to His Word, because that is the place where who God is can be clearly seen. He is holy, and we are sinful. That is true. He is also relentless in His love for us and in His mercy toward us. His Word is more than a book. It is God’s words of this is who I am, this is how much I love you, and this is what I’ve made you for.

We find life in the pages of His Word because we find Him.

Picture by Angela Ewing
Picture by Angela Ewing

God is With Us

God’s desire from the beginning has been fellowship. To be with us.

In the very beginning, God walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. When sin entered the world, that relationship was broken, but God’s desire did not change. Throughout the Old Testament, His heart cry is repeated: “They shall be my people, and I will be their God.”

And then He opened the folds of time and stepped into our world, as one of us. Jesus, Immanuel, which means God with us.

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With us. Not watching from a distance. Not a kind, but powerless, force hovering around us. But walking among us, experiencing life in this broken world.

Through Jesus, God knows the pull of this world on our hearts. He knows what betrayal feels like. He knows what it is like to watch people you love make wrong choices and walk down destructive paths. His feet grew dusty, His heart weary. He felt the limitations of our human body.

Jesus lived the life we cannot live, perfectly obeying God’s law. Through His life, death on the cross, and resurrection, He calls us back into relationship with Him – the relationship we were originally made for.

When there was no way, God made a way. Immanuel, God with us.

And Jesus’ parting words were, “I am with you always..”

Then He sent His Spirit to be with us, His power inside us. Today, right now, He is with us. His relentless, loving devotion to His people has not changed.

We were not made to be alone, and He has not left us alone.

Linger in the beauty of this truth. Savor the sweetness. God is with us.

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A Pearl of Great Price

I have enjoyed exploring the first truth in this Truth That Makes Life Beautiful series: You are loved.

I am so excited to be moving into the next truth that makes life beautiful: You are not alone. This truth is close to my heart, because I felt alone, and truly believed I was alone, for many years.

As I said in the introduction to this series We say what we think. We live what we believe. And I believed that I was alone. It was a belief born out of a lie that formed a chain around my heart, link by link, over the years.

I had a great childhood, surrounded by family and friends who loved me.

But I also had a belief deep down in the core of my being that I was alone. And there were situations, circumstances, that seemed to prove the truth of that belief. We live in a broken world, surrounded by broken people, and in my own broken state, I misinterpreted many things.

I wore my aloneness as an accessory. I picture it as a pearl necklace. (Y’all know we wear pearls with anything here in the south.) And each time something happened that seemed to prove the truth of my false belief, I added one more pearl to the strand.

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I wasn’t aware of this strand of pearls until a few years ago when I noticed that I was reacting really strongly to situations. I was reacting as if I was abandoned. One night my husband looked at me and said, “You know I’m for you, right?” I didn’t know that. Why would I not know that?

So I went back to the beginning and looked at events that happened over the years: growing up, those crazy turbulent teen years, the early years in our marriage, and I named each pearl in my necklace. Those pearls added up to one thing. I was alone. I was alone and there was no one to protect me.

I believed the lie that because I felt alone, I must be alone, abandoned, worthless.

I began looking for truth to replace this lie.  And as I searched God’s Word, I traded in that string of pearls for a pearl of great price: what God says about me (and you) in His Word.

God says we are not alone. He says it over and over in His Word. And He shows it in many different ways in our lives.

We are not alone. And that truth makes life beautiful.

Knowing We Are Loved Makes Our Hearts Sing

This song makes me think of my grandmother and her battle with cancer. Mammie was a strong woman, but she suffered as the cancer spread through her body. We pleaded with God to spare her, to stop the pain. But He didn’t until the very end, when she finally stood before Him in heaven.

Mammie was a child of God. She was His. And He allowed her to suffer. I wrestled with this truth. And, for me, it finally came down to the truth that I know God loved my Mammie even more than I did. He was getting her heart and soul ready to spend eternity with Him and He would not let her suffer one second longer than necessary to accomplish that.

I don’t know what is involved in getting someone ready to go from this world into heaven. I can imagine that our grasp on this world is tighter than it needs to be.

I know that Mammie is singing with the angels and the saints around the throne, cancer-free and full of joy. And she’s not thinking of those last months on earth. At all. She was loved by the King then and she is loved by Him now.

 

His Face is Toward Us

When Anderson was in first grade he lied to his teacher. When he got home, we had a little talk.

“Each time you lie, you are putting a brick between you and Mrs. Henderson.” I told my little boy. “The more you lie, the more bricks pile up. At some point you won’t be able to see her any longer because the bricks will separate you.”

His lower lip trembled. “But I don’t want to be separate from her. How do I take the bricks away?”

“When you ask for forgiveness, the bricks will crumble.”

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Anderson loved Mrs. Henderson. The next morning he asked for her forgiveness and stopped that brick wall from ever beginning.

There are also bricks that block us from a relationship with God. The bricks may be the thought that God will make us change, or that there will be no fun in life, or the idea that a relationship with God has too many rules to follow.

These bricks distract us from the real problem. Because even when God works in our heart to draw us toward Himself, we find that there is a stronger brick wall behind the bricks we’ve put up. God is on one side of the brick wall and we are on the other.

If this was the end of the story, this would be tragic. But stay with me, there is a larger story going on here.

This wall was put into place way back in Genesis, in the Garden of Eden. It was put there by the enemy to place a permanent wedge between God and His creation, to nullify His plans to love and to bless His creation.

The enemy laid the foundation for this wall by layering bricks of doubt, “Did God really say…”, and mistrust, “God knows that when you eat of it then you will be like Him”.  If sin begins by our refusal to believe what is true about God, then this was the birthplace of every sin known to man.

But the enemy did not count on the mercy of God. The enemy had no way of knowing what God was willing to do to break through that wall of darkness, mistrust, and doubt. God tore down that wall through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Why would He do that?

Because of His great love for us. The love of God is shown in this, that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. While that wall was still there, before we ever searched for Him, He searched for us.

He did not create us to be alienated from Him.  He made us for life with Him.

His kindness leads us to repentance. His kindness causes us to want change in our life.

His Face is toward us and all His Paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.

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He answers our heart’s cry with gentleness and grace.

And he will disintegrate any layer of bricks to win your heart and mine. His love is just that great.

You are loved.  You are loved!

Say it. Believe it. Live it.

His Love Flows Into Our Lives

In this song, There is Nothing, Laura Story describes the experience of spending time with God. In the midst of the busyness of life, this truth stands: There is nothing more precious or more worthy than knowing Him. Knowing Him and knowing His love for us makes a difference in every aspect of our lives – the way we view ourselves, the way we treat others, the way we live this life.

Lord I come before You

To honor and adore You

For who You are and all that You have done

Lord I am not worthy

My heart is dark and dirty

Still somehow You bid for me to come

So clothe me in humility

Remind me that I come before a King

And there is nothing

There is nothing

More precious, more worthy

May I gaze deeper,
May I stay longer,

May I press onward to know You, Lord

May our time be sweeter,

May I be a keeper of the promises I make to You in song

Lord may I remember these moments of surrender

And live my life this way from this day on.

There is Joy in His Presence

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I love this picture of my dad. I love the joy on his face. He is a kid just enjoying being a kid.

I love seeing that joy on my children’s faces, too. I love it when they forget I’m around, and they are in their own world, just being kids.

I also love it when they snuggle on the couch with me in the mornings. Sometimes we just watch the sun rise, transforming the darkness outside our windows. Sometimes we talk about the dreams they had during the night. And sometimes they whisper big questions into those quiet moments, questions about life in this broken world.

I love the privilege of speaking truth into their lives. It gives me joy to be with them.

The longer I am a parent, the more parallels I see between children and being a child of God. Just as my children draw security and comfort from these early morning visits with me, I draw security and comfort from time in God’s Presence.

I have to admit that I haven’t always viewed time with God as being a joy-filled experience. There have been times in my life when being in His presence has been uncomfortable. There have been times when I’ve been nervous and prayed loud-and-fast-and-got-out-of-there-as-soon-as-I-could. I could still say I had time with the Lord, but I didn’t really spend time with him. I threw Him my list of needs and got out before He could say anything.

I was fulfilling a sense of duty, but it did not nourish my soul.

But God has a way of wiggling His truths into our hearts, even when our fingers are in our ears. He has a way of bringing us back to our senses when we stray off His path.

Why does He do this? Simply because He loves us. Because He wants us to experience the joy found through a relationship with Him.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

The more I spend time with Him, the more I see this as a lifeline, and less as an item on my to-do list.

I wrote this poem years ago, as my view of time with God began to change:

As I sit at Your feet and lean upon Your knee, As I read Your Words to me,

A hunger fills my lonely heart. It is You I desire to see.

When I’m with You I catch a glimpse of what this world should be.

Haziness clears, what is important appears, And it is You I desire to see.

In Your Presence is peace and fullness of joy, Unlike any other place I can be.

As Your loved daughter, a child of the King, It is my Father I long to see.

As I sit at Your feet and lean upon Your knee, As I read Your Words to me,

A hunger fills my peaceful heart, And with you I long to be.

The search for joy brings us to the feet of the One who loves us beyond measure.

God’s Care Can Handle Our Worries

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I have a love/hate relationship with roller coasters. I hate every moment that I’m being swung through the air, and yet the moment my feet hit the ground, I want to go again. In this picture, I’m the second person from the right. One of my best friends is on the far right. She’s the one who said, “Let’s wait in line ten years so that we can ride on the very front. It’ll be great!”

Life often feels like a roller coaster with its unexpected twists, turns and drops. I don’t like experiencing a free fall in real life. And most of life will feel like a free fall unless I remember today’s beautiful truth: God’s care can handle our worries.

I love the way 1 Peter 5:7 gives us the reason we can give our worries to God. “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for you…”

Believing that God cares changes the way we react to circumstances and other people in our life. Believing that He cares gives us stability in the midst of the free falls of life.

“As soon as we are convinced that God cares for us, our minds are easily composed to patience and humility…having cast our care on God, we may calmly rest. We ought to dwell all the more on this thought, that God cares for us, first, in order to have peace within, and, secondly, in order that we may be humble and meek towards men.” (Calvin’s New Testament Commentaries)

Believing this gives room for joy in our lives.

Philippians 4:4-7:  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Believing this gives us peace, even when it makes no sense to feel peace.

Isaiah 26:3: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

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We say what we think. We live what we believe.  God’s care can handle our worries today.