Erin Ulerich

Soul Care: The Heart of our Badass

Soul Care gets to the heart of who we are and what we believe. And it’s important, because we aren’t just bodies that need rest and food. We are whole people, made up of mind, body, and soul, and each part of us needs attention.

Soul Care is connected to our badass because what we believe guides the way we live. Without taking care of our souls, our badass becomes a blustery take-it-or-leave-it, I’m-on-my-own attitude. But it’s really hard to sustain courage, strength and resolve based on our own bluster.

When life takes the wind out of my sails and I’m left thinking Wait, what just happened here? the state of my soul guides my actions.

This subject takes some thinking over, especially if we aren’t used to paying attention to the care of our soul. To help with this, I’ve included the transcript of the video below the video.

I would love your feedback on this section of Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve.

In this series we’ve talked about taking care of our body through getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercise. The fourth area of getting back to badass focuses on taking care of our soul.

I have found in my journey that when I spend time learning about God and about His love for me, it helps me feel balanced, it fuels my fight for hope, and it gives me a foundation for my badass.

Fighting for hope is a trait we share across the globe and have shared through the centuries. No matter how dark our world gets people cling to hope.

I believe that we are drawn to hope, our hearts crave hope, because we were created by the God of hope. He made us for hope, He gave us the ability to hope, and He is the source of lasting hope. And lasting hope is what we need as we push against the darkness in our lives. Lasting hope is bigger than we are because it is grounded in God’s nature and character.

If He created us for hope, it makes sense to get to know Him and find out more about the hope He can give.

How does this connect with getting back to badass? Remember our definition: Badass is a feeling of courage, strength, and resolve. Soul care gives us a foundation for that feeling. Feelings change so easily and our circumstances can change in a heartbeat. And that makes it difficult to hold on to that feeling of courage, strength, and resolve. But the more I learn about God and His love for me – His love that never changes – it gives me steady footing.

If lasting hope is grounded in God’s nature and character, then we can experience this hope by getting to know Him. We come face to face with Him in His Word. Through the pages of the Bible we read what He says about who He is, who we are, and how much He wants to be in relationship with us.

In Soul care, two of the most important questions we can ask ourselves are:

How do I view God? and How do I believe God views me?

We live much of our live based on the answers to these questions.

For a large portion of my life I thought God was distant, disappointed in me, and loved me because He had to. I got the picture that Jesus was a reluctant Savior. As a result, I alternated between feeling like I could never measure up, so why try, and working hard doing good things to try to earn God’s love.

This yo-yo-ing back and forth was exhausting. I finally hit a point where I asked myself, Is what I believe about God accurate or am I just repeating what others have said through the years? So I started looking in the Bible for the words and phrases God uses to describe who He is, and the words and phrases He uses to describe what He thinks about me.

The Bible is more than a book. It is God’s words, saying this is Who I am, this is how much I love you, and this is what I’ve made you for.

And what I’ve found is that God loves me fiercely and wants His best for me. And, at the same time, sometimes His best comes through difficult times. But in those difficult times He is with me and He gives me the courage, strength, and resolve to keep going.

We tend to define God’s love based on our circumstances. If things are good, God must love me, if things are bad, He must be mad at me. But the difficult times are times when we can run toward God and toward His truth and find our courage, strength, and resolve in Him.

Badass rooted in God doesn’t waver with circumstance. Because He is steady, we can rest our feet firmly on Him. Because He is steady, we can believe beautiful truths like : I am loved because God loves me. I am not alone because God is with me. I have worth because God made me for purpose.

Finding my worth in Him gives me courage to do big, scary things. And when darkness does close in, having my hope in God gives me the resolve to keep on going.

Soul care helps us walk in courage, strength, and resolve in spite of our circumstances and in spite of how we might feel.

The Action Point for today is to answer those two important questions:

How do you view God and How you do believe He views you?

The answers to those questions really do shape our lives.

I would love to know your thoughts on soul care. Do you have books or resources that help you in this area?

I am so glad to be on this journey with you!

Weights and Words

Today’s video covers the third of the five areas that are critical for getting back to badass. I’m talking about exercise and the importance of building our strength – inside and out.

I believe success in this area doesn’t begin with having a yoga mat, or the right set of weights, or even the most supportive sports bra.

It begins with words.

In the video on eating healthy, I talked about the lies I believe that sabotage my progress. When it comes to exercise, I can sabotage myself by the way I talk to myself. Words.

If we were cheering a friend up THE HILL from the video, what type of words would we use? Encouraging? Judgmental? I suspect we are more encouraging to others than we are to ourselves.

Exercise builds muscle and tenacity. As we exercise we grow strong inside and out. The words we feed our inner muscles are the equivalent to the protein shakes we drink after a workout.

Words are powerful, especially the ones we speak to ourselves.

Action points:

Look at your options for exercise. It can be as basic as taking a walk, or an involved as a Zumba class. Find something you are interested in or something that challenges you.

Make it fun. If it’s drudgery, you won’t want to do it. I enjoy the resources offered by Beachbody.com. Beachbody on Demand gives me access to workout programs on Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced Levels. I love this because of the variety and because I can work out in my own home.

Focus on getting stronger and feeling your best. I love the way I feel after a workout. I try not to focus on weight loss, because I get discouraged when the numbers on the scale go up and down and up and…. When I focus on getting stronger, I am able to track my progress and that encourages me to keep on going!

Exercise keeps me off the sidelines in my own life. I want to LIVE my life, not watch it as a spectator. Exercise helps me physically and mentally as I live life with courage, strength and resolve.

You are worth the time, energy, and effort it takes to do this, my friend.

I’d love to know what you plan to do to incorporate this step of getting back to badass into your life.

What words or phrases will you use to encourage yourself? If you need ideas, I have a Pintrest board that might help – Fitness Quotes to Get Me Moving. I’d love to add to it. Drop your favorite phrase in the comments below.

What will you do today to begin getting stronger? Taking a walk? Take a picture! Tackling a workout? Drink water and take an after workout picture! Be sure to use #bk2ba so we can keep up with each other.

Eat More Veggies, Change the World

Eat more veggies, change the world.

What?

Ok, it’s not quite that simple. But I do connect the dots in today’s video

Step Two of Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve

This video in the Back to Badass series centers around Eating Healthy. This area can be an emotional minefield. My struggle with eating the right foods is rarely about the food. It’s about what I believe.

When it comes to eating healthy, or choosing to eat healthy, I don’t think the problem is a lack of information, it’s all about motivation.

It doesn’t take a professional to know that an apple has more nutritional value than a doughnut. I know the apple is the better choice, but I am more apt to choose the doughnut than the apple, because I believe it will make me feel better.

Having a plan for eating is important, Looking at the lies we believe about eating is also important. In this video I talk about the 2 lies that sabotage my goals of eating healthy. And you know what? They aren’t about food at all.

What do you believe that sabotages your eating goals? Those little whispers in the dark matter, because what we believe shapes the way we live.

In the first video of this series, I asked you to think about what would change in your life if you got back to badass. Now picture this with me. Think about the people in your life that you love. People who are weary, stretched thin, overwhelmed with life. What would it look like if they started living life with courage, strength, and resolve?

When I picture the people I love walking in strength, making courageous choices, instead of reacting in fear or shrugging their shoulders in defeat, I get pumped. It’s beautiful!

Their lives would change, the lives around them would be impacted, and on an on! Just think, what if the media that fills our lives was based on courage, strength and resolve instead of fear?

Call me a dreamer, but I think it could happen.

So reach for that apple and let’s change the world!

Resources:

The nutritionist I mention in this video is Ginny Reddick. It was so helpful to have her expertise and accountability for three months. I would definitely recommend her! You can find out about her and sign up for her blog at http://www.virginiareddick.com

The app My Fitness Pal helps me keep track of what I’ve eaten. It also helps me balance my all-or-nothing thinking that sabotages my progress. It helps me remember that one unhealthy snack or meal doesn’t have to derail my entire day and gives me the tools to get back on track. I would highly recommend it!

Star Wars, Lust, and Grace

There’s a connection between Star Wars, lust, grace and getting back to badass?

Yep. Somehow, I connected those dots in today’s video.

The First Step in Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve

I would love your feedback!

Was it helpful? Does it feel impossible?

What two things did you take away from this video?

When Hope Is Tender

I have the privilege of working at French Camp Academy, a Christian home and boarding school tucked away on the Natchez Trace. My favorite part of working here is getting to know the students.

Our students typically come from difficult home situations. Many of them wrestle with the darkness in their stories, not wanting that darkness to become their identity. So fighting for hope happens here little by little, on a daily basis.

Kat is one of the students I’ve gotten to know this year. I am so proud of her for wanting to share a little of her story.When I read Kat’s words, I see a Hope Warrior being formed.

Hope. Most of the time we don’t think about that word. I had hope to be adopted. I had hope to be loved. Most of the time we hope to make an A or get that job. Sometimes we hope to make that team or get that car.

I had hoped God could change me. He sure did.

I was struggling at home. We were looking for a godly getaway. We found FCA. I hoped it would be good and It was! I love it there.

That is hope.

-Kat, 7th grade

The Benefits of Badass

Ever wonder if you’ve got a single badass bone in your body?

Or if the difficult things you’ve been through had any purpose?

Or if you will always feel overwhelmed with your own life?

Then this video is for you!

Welcome to the first video of

Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve

I’d love to hear your feedback about this video:

The Benefits of Badass

After you watch it, I’d LOVE to know:

What are two things that stand out in the information given in this video?

Would an outline or handout be helpful to have?

Thank you so much for helping me make this series even better!

Sexual Addiction: Two Sides of the Coin

Sometimes there is no script for the things that happen to us in life. We don’t know what to do, so we try to figure it out on our own and just cope. Many times the way that we cope with life events leads us into addictions or into a relationship with an addict.

Addictions happen when we try to numb the pain in our life. We become addicted to the few moments of relief from the pain, and continue to seek out the thing or person that gave us that relief.

Addiction means – the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice. The Latin stem of the word actually means a giving over; to surrender. (dictionary.com)

It is surrendering to the darkness in our life.

Addiction of any kind operates in darkness and fills us with shame, but sexual addiction seems to be controlled by it. Shame is the voice that whispers mean things because it doesn’t want us to come out of the dark. It is a deadly fungus that grows stronger in silence and fear. It covers us like a raincoat so that we can’t feel God’s love raining down on us. It convinces us that hope, joy, forgiveness, and peace are great ideas – for everyone except us.

But here’s the truth about shame. It cannot survive in the light. It will threaten, howl, whine and beg us to stay cowered down in the darkness. But once we step into the light and share our story with others, its death grip begins to loosen.

Out in the light we can hear truth, we can feel God’s love, we can experience compassion from others who are also struggling. We can see that change is possible.

Fighting for hope often feels impossible when addiction is involved, no matter which side of the coin we are on. The truth is the more we fight for hope, the more warrior-like we become.

Hope Warriors push against the darkness, yelling “You will not win!” into the hopelessness that hangs over us like a fog. Hope Warriors let loose that war cry “What you meant for evil, God will use for good!”

Hope Warriors know that whatever is going on right now as you read this, the last chapter has not been written. There is still hope and it is worth fighting for.

Hope begins growing when we realize that the ways we’ve coped and acted all these years are not helping us. It continues to grow as we discover different tools and resources that help us. I want to share two resources with you today.

Forest Benedict writes to men and women stuck in sexual addiction in his book, Life After Lust.

He offers hope and practical direction as he shares his own story of addiction and recovery. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sexual Addiction Treatment Provider (SATP-C) living in Fresno, CA.

Forest shares the first chapter of his book here.

It is available in digital or paperback through Amazon. Click here to order.

Intimate Treason by Claudia Black, PHD and Cara Tripodi, LCSW is written to women and men who are partners of sex addicts.

“Those who act out sexually – whether through pornography, cybersex, prostitution, voyeurism, and/or multiple affairs – leave their partners reeling in rage, incredible shame, and isolation. In this taboo-shattering and practical guidebook, partners affected by sex addiction can learn to develop healthy boundaries and make positive changes in their lives. The skills-building exercises presented are designed to help partners better understand the disease of addiction and how it is affecting their relationship. Intimate Treason provides a path to healing that gives voice to partners’ truth as they travel on their own journey of recovery.” (summary on back cover)

Intimate Treason is also available through Amazon. Click here to order.

Sexual addiction is like a monster tornado swirling in the middle of a relationship. Although both partners are experiencing the harmful wind and hurling debris, they are each experiencing the tornado in completely different ways. If you or someone you love have been impacted by sexual addiction on either side of the coin, these resources could provide the first step on the road to recovery. Silencing shame and walking in the light takes courage and tenacity, and it brings out the Hope Warrior in us.

Hope is worth fighting for!

Both of these resources are available on Amazon. The links I’ve provided are Amazon Affiliate links, which doesn’t change the price of the resources, but it helps me as an Amazon Affiliate.

When Fighting for Hope Brings Out Our Badass

“Hope is by far the most dangerous commitment we make in life.”

This quote by Dan Allender has shaped the direction of my blog and the direction of my life in recent years.

I’m not a person who runs toward danger. I’m the person that screams out loud at the suspenseful part of any movie. I’ve sent popcorn flying two rows down. (My sincerest apologies to the people sitting anywhere near me every time I see a movie in the theater.)

In life we have to choose between giving in to fear and fighting for hope. I’ve spent many years giving in to fear, allowing the darkness to tell me what to believe. But things have changed. These days, I’m choosing to fight.

Back in the fall I wrote Why Fight for Hope. I ended the post with this paragraph:

And the more I fight for hope, the more I suspect that there may be a badass deep down inside of me. One that doesn’t flip out at the first sign of danger, but one who owns her story with style.

My suspicions have been confirmed. The badass deep inside of me is starting to surface.

The badass I’m speaking of is not abrasive or offending. It is a feeling of courage, strength and resolve. That feeling grows the more I fight for hope, and though it is new on the surface, the seeds of badass have been there all along.

Getting back to badass is changing the way I fight for hope. Instead of being on the defense, clinging to hope, I find that now I run after hope, even when things look bleak. Instead of just surviving, I am more apt to reach out to others and encourage them in their fight for hope.

Getting reacquainted with my badass has been a journey worth sharing. To do this, I’ve created a video series called Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve.

Since I’ve never done anything like this before, I’d love your feedback in exchange for a sneak peek at the series. For the next 7 weeks, I’ll post a video from the series for you to comment on. These are the types of things I’m looking for:

What are 2 things you learned during this video? Am I communicating clearly? I’d love to hear your thoughts and impressions.

Would you be willing to help me sharpen my series?

I’m jumping right in with the teaser video, to give you an idea of what the series will entail.

Can you imagine what our homes and communities would look like if more people lived life with courage, strength, and resolve? I sincerely believe it would change the world.

I’m looking forward to sharing this project with you. If you know someone who would enjoy this series and would like these posts sent straight to their inbox, please encourage them to sign up for my blog in the sidebar at erinulerich.com.

When You Are In the Dark

Tears flowed as her shoulders slumped.

“Whenever I pray about it, things seem to get worse. It feels like God doesn’t even love me.”

I’ve been there more than once.

What about you?

Is there an unanswered prayer out there? An addiction God hasn’t taken away even though you ‘ve pleaded with Him for help?

Strength can come through struggle and our faith can grow in trials, but only if we run toward truth. Even when we don’t understand what He is doing, even when He seems silent to our cries.

The truth is that God sees, He hears, He knows. He cares.

And He is working behind the scenes in this broken world.

Keep leaning in toward him, my friend. Keep fighting for hope. The darkness may hide Him from your sight, but you are never hidden from His.

A Touch of Grace

How about a touch of grace today –

A little kindness in our words, a little softness in our responses.

Instead of angry words, what if we breathed our grace onto each other?

We might discover that words of grace are words of life,

that words of grace are refreshing to our soul,

that words of grace can soften a heart and change the direction of a life.

We might discover that grace changes everything.

***Since we are on the subject of grace today…I’ve been doing some tweaking on my site and want to make sure everyone who subscribed to my blog is receiving these posts via email.

If you don’t mind, could you take a moment and comment under the post on the blog or email me at erinulerich@gmail.com and just let me know that you received this post?

I appreciate your patience as I figure out the technical side of writing. And I’d love any feedback. Are there areas of fighting for hope you’d like to read about? Do you know a Hope Warriors whose story would inspire others?

If you are reading this and you aren’t a subscriber yet, scoot over to the sidebar and sign up to join the party!***

Y’all are THE best!