I’ve been hanging on like a sticky ninja for weeks and now that the milestones have been thoroughly celebrated and the school year has been wrapped up, I find myself in need of these 3 words: “Rest in Me.”
After times of extreme busy-ness, I have to train myself to not hurry. I have to learn how to be still and enjoy the rhythm of life. I needed to re-read this post and remember that God sees my tiredness and invites me to rest in Him.
What about you? How do you recover from times of being crazy-busy?
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The Ever-Changing Perfect Mom Standard
I completely lost it on my kids. Last Sunday. Twenty minutes before Sunday School. Twenty minutes before I had to teach Sunday School.
I yelled. I made them cry. I stomped out of the room.
And I told myself I was a horrible mother.
Has this ever happened to you?
I’ve been running from the “Horrible Mother” status and chasing the “Perfect Wife and Mom” status for years. And I totally believe it’s unattainable, because I keep changing the standard.
In the early years of our marriage, I felt that I was a good wife if I made cornbread every night at supper. Every night. (Can you tell I’m Southern?) My mom had cornbread at every meal, and her mom always had cornbread. No one ever told me I HAD to make cornbread, but I labeled it as the perfect wife standard.
Finally, one night, Stephen looked at the skillet of cornbread and said, “You know, I don’t really like cornbread.”
Goodbye cornbread.
I’ve done the same thing as a mom. For a time I felt that if I had pitchers of sweet tea (Can’t get away from being a Southern girl!) and Kool-aid in the fridge, I was a good mama. I had to let go of that standard because we really didn’t need to be consuming that much sugar.
Last night I realized that I have another arbitrary standard of being a perfect mom.
A full towel closet. I feel that if my family has towels for their bath times, I am a good mama.
I’m sure my husband wishes I had higher standards on other things, like dusting the baseboards, keeping the dirty laundry pile below waist level, and mopping the floor more often.
Bless his heart. I let go of having a clean house as a perfect mom standard when the kids were toddlers. If it happened, great. But if I had to choose between happy kids and a clean house, the kids were going to win. Every time.
I would like my kids to always have clean school uniforms, but there are days when we pull them out of the dirty clothes hamper and rock on.
I would prefer to send them off to school with smiles on their faces, ready to face the day. But there are some mornings when tears and frustration win the battles.
I would definitely want to not lose my temper with my children, but it does happen.
I can’t let these things determine if I’m living under horrible mom judgment or in perfect mom bliss.
Sunday afternoon, hours after the blow-up and after we’d all asked forgiveness and cleared the air, my youngest brought me a book she’d written and stapled together.
In this book, she gave four reasons.
- You give me hugs when I’m upset.
- You help me when I need it. You help me with homework.
- You comfort me when I’m scared. When the tornado siren went off you comforted me.
- You spend time with us. You play games with us.
Not a single mention of cornbread or sweet tea, or clean towels, or any other arbitrary standard I might have made up over the years. My girl loves me because she knows I love her. She knows this because I give her time, comfort, help, and hugs. And that’s the way I want it.
What about you? Do you have standards in mind that give you “Horrible Mother” or “Perfect Mother” status?
In honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to suggest that we stop judging ourselves based on ever-changing criteria that doesn’t really matter. Let’s choose a standard that matters in the long run. Let’s choose a standard that will impact our kids for the rest of their lives.
I want my kids to know that I love them, and I am for them.
That’s a perfect mom standard that will last.
Encouragement on the Dark Days
One of the hope warriors in my life pointed me toward this song. She doesn’t think of herself as a hope warrior, but I’ve watched her dig her heels in and fight hard for hope during the past seven years. I’ve seen her hold on to the hope that God is working, no matter how overwhelming the darkness feels.
Seven years ago my friend’s mother shut down mentally, emotionally, and physically. It has been an emotional journey for my sweet friend, watching her mother become a shell of the person she once was.
Then, 6 years into the journey, my friend’s father unexpectedly passed away.
Still she fought for hope. And to this day, she fights. She is a hope warrior.
It had been an extremely difficult day with her mother when this song came on the radio. The words of this song reminded her that she is not alone, that this journey isn’t over yet. This song reminded her to hold on because the Lord isn’t finished with her mom yet. Or with her.
I hope this song will encourage you, dear friend, in your journey. If it brings someone to mind, please share it with them. They might need these life-giving words today.
When You Don’t Feel Like A Ninja
My daughter threw a sticky ninja onto our dining room ceiling this week. He has been there all week, just holding on. This sticky ninja perfectly describes the climate of our home All five of us are just hanging on while school-chaos, work-chaos, life-chaos swirls all around us.
We are usually pleasant people to be around. Pleasant people who can speak in complete sentences. But in this state of done-ness, we’ve settled for conversations that sound like:
She did it to me first!
Stop looking at me!
Go away!
Turn that music down!
It’s as if we are all wearing sandpaper on our skin, constantly abrasive, constantly irritated.
And our emotions are all over the place. Yesterday I had one child skipping around, excited about a field trip, and one child sobbing on my shoulder, I’m sick of school! Then I sat down and cried for half an hour about my son’s upcoming graduation from 6th grade. They were happy-celebrating-a-milestone tears, but they were still tears.
This milestone is hitting me hard and my husband is baffled. It’s just 6th grade, he keeps saying. But it’s so much more. I feel like we’ve come so far. I went from holding an infant, feeling the full responsibility of parenthood for the first time, to beholding a 100 pound man-cub standing in front of me. It’s just a bit overwhelming.
What about you? How are you these days?
Is life swirling around you, too? Are you just holding on, waiting for a chance to catch your breath? Are you feeling D-O-N-E?
I keep telling my 6th grader. You are so close to the finish line. Keep going, keep doing your best. You will be glad that you finished well.
And I want to whisper those same words to your heart and mine. Keep going, keep doing your best. Keep fighting for hope, even in the darkness. We never know how this stage in our journey will impact the next. We never really know who is inspired by our perseverance until it’s all over.
Hang on, my friend! Hang on like a sticky ninja!
Fighting For Those Who Can’t
I love this picture.
This, to me, is a picture of hope. It looks like it was painted by a happy girl who is excited about a birthday or a special occasion.
But it wasn’t. And that is what makes this a perfect picture of hope. This little hope fairy in all of its pink glory was painted by a young girl in an orphanage in Ukraine.
The orphanage she lives in is drab. Grey and neutral colors are everywhere, except for the art room tucked away in a large classroom on the second floor. It seems as though all the colors in the rainbow have been reserved for that one room in the entire orphanage.
And this is where our little hope artist painted a sweet fairy with her arms open wide, inviting life in with a smile on her face.
This little girl painted hope when her circumstances pointed toward hopelessness. She painted hope when nothing encouraged it. She painted hope even though nothing changed day after day.
This girl is a fighter. A hope warrior.
This picture makes me want to stretch out my hand to encourage this young hope warrior. I want to say “Don’t give up! Keep hoping. Keep your arms open toward life!” I know that there are days when her circumstances mock the spark of hope in her heart. I can hear their dark whispers: “You are nothing. Nobody wants you. What a waste.”
I want her to win.
I want her to experience the beauty of redemption .
Fighting for hope means clinging to redemption. It means believing that God can redeem- buy back, rescue from loss, ransom in full – situations and relationships in our lives. Because of the beauty of redemption we can stand firm and yell what Dan Allender calls “the quintessential cry of hope” in The Healing Path
God turned into good what you meant for evil. (Genesis 50:20, NLT)
I call it the war cry of hope fighters.
Fighting for hope means believing change can happen. It means leaning forward into each day, fighting for traction, for momentum that can move us forward – even an inch.
And that’s the thing about fighting for hope. As we fight we recognize other hope warriors and we want to cheer for them. We know how hard it is to keep hoping and we know that hope is worth fighting for.
Fighting for hope for those who can’t means reaching out a hand of encouragement to speak truth: This is not the end. God will work. And in the reminding, God shines and the darkness fades.
Would you like an opportunity to encourage a fellow hope warrior?
Let me introduce my friends Slavik and Alonya. They live out the beauty of redemption and they are some of the finest hope warriors I’ve met.
They began the Nasledie HeritageFoundation because they wanted to serve orphans and troubled children in Ukraine. They saw great needs all around them and began reaching out. Instead of getting overwhelmed and saying “The problem is too big. What difference could we make?” they stepped out in prayer and began making a difference in the lives of children.
Today they have teams that go into 18 different orphanages to do winter and summer camps, Christmas programs, and fun activities wrapped in the hope that only Christ can bring.
And when war began in Ukraine, they saw an opportunity to reach out to the refugees pouring into their city and they raised money to open a place to minister to these people in need.
To find out more about their amazing ministry check out their Facebook page – Nasledie Heritage Foundation – and their blog at nasledieukraine.blogspot.com. This site shares the story behind the ministry as well as opportunities to get involved.
Fighting for hope on behalf of those who can’t nurtures a spark of hope in their lives. And hope only needs a spark to grow.
Lego Organization System In 4 Easy Steps
If you’ve ever stood in the doorway of a room littered with LEGOs, wishing for a way to organize the colorful mess, this post is for you. If you’ve experienced the agony of stepping on LEGOs with bare feet, this post is for you. You, dear friend, fully understand the connection between these tiny blocks and the fight for hope.
Legos are amazing. These little bricks have unlocked the imagination of children and adults all over the world for decades. LEGO’s founder, Ole Kirk Christiansen, created the name “LEGO” from the first two letters of the Danish words LEG GODT, meaning “play well“. I think he named it perfectly.
My husband has been building with LEGOs since he was five years old. He still has many of his pieces from his childhood. Since Lego hasn’t changed their style of bricks since 1958, all Lego pieces are compatible. As our children have discovered LEGOs, we’ve added to Stephen’s childhood collection.
In 2014 the LEGO Movie brilliantly built a plot around real issues that happen in LEGO filled homes. For example, the writers of this movie completely captured a father-son discussion that has happened at our house. In this scene the dad discovers that his son, Finn, has been playing with his Lego city.
The Man Upstairs: You know the rules, this isn’t a toy!
Finn: Um… it kind of is.
The Man Upstairs: No, actually it’s a highly sophisticated inter-locking brick system. Finn: But we bought it at the toy store.
The Man Upstairs: We did, but the way I’m using it makes it an adult thing.
Finn: The box for this one said “Ages 8 to 14”!
The Man Upstairs: That’s a suggestion. They have to put that on there.
So when is a toy not a toy? When Daddy is playing with it, of course.
The plot of the LEGO movie boils down to the struggle between Lord Business and the Master Builders. Lord Business wants everyone to build LEGO creations only by using instructions. He intends to superglue the LEGO world to make sure everything stays in place.
The Master Builders want to build things they create in their own imaginations.
This struggle is real, people. Within my own home, there are people on both sides.
Stephen, admittedly, is the Lord Business of our home. He lives by the principle that once something is built strictly by the instructions, it stays together. (Though he hasn’t mentioned using it, I’ve hidden the superglue just to be safe.)
The girls use instructions. But occasionally, they flex their Master Builder muscles. Ellen created these cute little ducks in a pond.
Anderson follows the instructions the first time he builds something. After that, he uses the parts to build something else, usually a spaceship. And yes, it drives Stephen nuts.
As these different types of builders began using the same LEGOs, chaos ensued in our home. No one could find the pieces they were looking for. As they searched through one container after another, and the Lego pieces scraped across one another, the horrible, maddening raking sound was unbearable.(At least to this non-Lego person.) Something had to be done.
Stephen wanted to be able to find the pieces he needed. The kids wanted to be able to play freely with the “highly sophisticated inter-locking brick system”. I just wanted a central place to keep the Legos so I could stop stepping on (ouch!) and vacuuming up (oops!) stray pieces.
Then Stephen came up with a system that restored order in our home (at least where Legos are concerned.)
- Goal
First, Stephen figured out his goal. He wanted to organize the LEGOs in a way that would enable him to minimize the time spent searching for pieces, and maximize his chance of finding the pieces he was looking for, as well as maximize his building time.
2. Supplies
To reach his goal, he ordered four sets of Sterilite small 5 drawer units. The bottom of each set is removable so that you can actually stack the drawers.
3. Divide
He divided the Lego pieces into three main types: bricks, plates and specialty pieces. These types were sub-divided into groups according to size and shape. For example, he divided the specialty pieces into mini figures, wheels, axles, and hinged pieces.
4. Label
He labeled each drawer according to its contents. He had enough 2×4 bricks to fill an entire drawer. But he had fewer 2×2 and 2×3 blocks, so he combined those in one drawer.
It soon became apparent that 20 drawers were not enough. Right now we have 60 drawers. And everyone can find the LEGOs they are looking for, whether they are using instructions or not. I consider that a complete success!
If this system doesn’t quite meet your needs, design your own. You can begin by answering one question: What is your goal? You have to know where you want to end up before you know which way to go!
- Bonus
During this process, Stephen discovered the Lego Digital Designer at Lego.com. This free program allows builders to design their own Lego creations digitally. Once the design is completed, the program creates instructions and a materials list. You can then order the pieces from Lego.com or purchase them at a Lego store.
This incorporates the best of both sides of the struggle: build your own creations with instructions. The power is endless! The program even has that hideous raking sound as you look through the Lego pieces, but there’s a mute button for that!
Amazing facts about LEGOs from National Geographic for Kids:
Seven LEGO sets are sold by retailers every second around the world. During the Christmas season almost 28 LEGO sets are sold each second.
Laid end to end, the number of LEGO bricks sold in a year would reach more than five times round the world. On average there are 80 LEGO bricks for every person on earth.
According to the Huffington Post, LEGO Duplo bricks (the large ones for little kids) can connect with regular LEGO bricks. Even though they are eight times the size of regular bricks, the DUPLO LEGOs connect perfectly with the regular ones.
This post was originally published on the Investing In a Child blog at stefanicarmichael.wordpress.com
People With A Power In Their Hearts
I have the privilege of living and working at French Camp Academy, a Christian boarding school tucked away in French Camp, MS along the beautiful Natchez Trace Parkway . It is a place where people fight for hope every single day.
Students are here because someone in their life wanted a change for them. An adult in their life believed they were worth fighting for. And, over time, many of our students grow to believe that as well.
Fighting for hope isn’t glamorous. It gets REAL around here, especially when hopeless-ness rears its ugly head. But I love being in a place where young people are surrounded by adults who want to see them succeed. I love being one of those adults cheering them on.
I had the opportunity to write a post for the French Camp Academy blog this week. It is called People With A Power in Their Hearts. I hope you enjoy this glimpse of life at French Camp.
To read the article, click here.
Not The Way I Imagined It
My journey with the word Strong has not gone quite the way I expected. #strongin2016 is fleshing out a little differently than I imagined.
Can you relate to a journey filled with bumps in the road and curves you can’t quite see around?
Today I’m writing about my One Word journey over at the oneword365.com blog. I’m thrilled to be a part of this warm and encouraging community. Check out my post today by clicking here!
Sparks of Hope
I didn’t expect to find hope when the words were flying and the tempers flaring. But hope has a way of showing up in the most unlikely places.
I was hovering, trying to do damage control while my daughters argued. I don’t even remember what they were fighting about. I do remember that they were both wounded, and I knew I couldn’t fix it for them.
They sat across from each other, glaring, arms crossed, locked in a stubborn standoff. Suddenly real words, words with feelings attached, began flowing and the walls crumbled.
One of my girls broke down, and I watched her sister reach out to comfort her. No apology had been offered at this point and it would have been easier for her to keep her arms crossed and her heart closed.
But she didn’t.
I was overwhelmed to see my girl reach through her hurt to comfort the one who hurt her. Through her action she said My love for you is greater than your offense toward me.
And that gesture, in that moment, was a spark of hope.
Sparks of hope are vital in the fight for hope because they awaken a quiet, fierce strength inside of us hope warriors. A spark of hope stirs our courage and reminds us that hope is worth fighting for.
Sparks of hope happen all around us, tucked into unsuspecting moments. The question is, Do we see them?
It could be a beautiful sunset.
Or a Bible verse on a drive through window.
It could be a word.
Or it could be in the way love responds to hurt.
Each of us fight battles as we live, day-by-day, in this broken world. If we keep our eyes on the battle we are sure to grow weary. But when we recognize the sparks of hope around us, we find rest in the midst of our battle.
As we fight for hope, we strengthen our “fighting for hope” muscles and sharpen our eyesight so that we can see and celebrate the sparks of hope all around us. When we celebrate these moments, we remind those around us to keep fighting for hope. And it goes on from there.
What sparks of hope have you seen lately? I’d love to know!
Keep On Fighting
If your fight for hope isn’t looking like you thought it would, if you feel discouraged about your journey, if you just want to sit down and give up, this song is for you today.
Keep on fighting – Out of the dark into the light – It’s not over
Hope is rising – Never give in – Never give up – It’s not over