Author: Erin

Knowing We Are Loved Makes Our Hearts Sing

This song makes me think of my grandmother and her battle with cancer. Mammie was a strong woman, but she suffered as the cancer spread through her body. We pleaded with God to spare her, to stop the pain. But He didn’t until the very end, when she finally stood before Him in heaven.

Mammie was a child of God. She was His. And He allowed her to suffer. I wrestled with this truth. And, for me, it finally came down to the truth that I know God loved my Mammie even more than I did. He was getting her heart and soul ready to spend eternity with Him and He would not let her suffer one second longer than necessary to accomplish that.

I don’t know what is involved in getting someone ready to go from this world into heaven. I can imagine that our grasp on this world is tighter than it needs to be.

I know that Mammie is singing with the angels and the saints around the throne, cancer-free and full of joy. And she’s not thinking of those last months on earth. At all. She was loved by the King then and she is loved by Him now.

 

His Face is Toward Us

When Anderson was in first grade he lied to his teacher. When he got home, we had a little talk.

“Each time you lie, you are putting a brick between you and Mrs. Henderson.” I told my little boy. “The more you lie, the more bricks pile up. At some point you won’t be able to see her any longer because the bricks will separate you.”

His lower lip trembled. “But I don’t want to be separate from her. How do I take the bricks away?”

“When you ask for forgiveness, the bricks will crumble.”

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Anderson loved Mrs. Henderson. The next morning he asked for her forgiveness and stopped that brick wall from ever beginning.

There are also bricks that block us from a relationship with God. The bricks may be the thought that God will make us change, or that there will be no fun in life, or the idea that a relationship with God has too many rules to follow.

These bricks distract us from the real problem. Because even when God works in our heart to draw us toward Himself, we find that there is a stronger brick wall behind the bricks we’ve put up. God is on one side of the brick wall and we are on the other.

If this was the end of the story, this would be tragic. But stay with me, there is a larger story going on here.

This wall was put into place way back in Genesis, in the Garden of Eden. It was put there by the enemy to place a permanent wedge between God and His creation, to nullify His plans to love and to bless His creation.

The enemy laid the foundation for this wall by layering bricks of doubt, “Did God really say…”, and mistrust, “God knows that when you eat of it then you will be like Him”.  If sin begins by our refusal to believe what is true about God, then this was the birthplace of every sin known to man.

But the enemy did not count on the mercy of God. The enemy had no way of knowing what God was willing to do to break through that wall of darkness, mistrust, and doubt. God tore down that wall through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Why would He do that?

Because of His great love for us. The love of God is shown in this, that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. While that wall was still there, before we ever searched for Him, He searched for us.

He did not create us to be alienated from Him.  He made us for life with Him.

His kindness leads us to repentance. His kindness causes us to want change in our life.

His Face is toward us and all His Paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.

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He answers our heart’s cry with gentleness and grace.

And he will disintegrate any layer of bricks to win your heart and mine. His love is just that great.

You are loved.  You are loved!

Say it. Believe it. Live it.

His Love Flows Into Our Lives

In this song, There is Nothing, Laura Story describes the experience of spending time with God. In the midst of the busyness of life, this truth stands: There is nothing more precious or more worthy than knowing Him. Knowing Him and knowing His love for us makes a difference in every aspect of our lives – the way we view ourselves, the way we treat others, the way we live this life.

Lord I come before You

To honor and adore You

For who You are and all that You have done

Lord I am not worthy

My heart is dark and dirty

Still somehow You bid for me to come

So clothe me in humility

Remind me that I come before a King

And there is nothing

There is nothing

More precious, more worthy

May I gaze deeper,
May I stay longer,

May I press onward to know You, Lord

May our time be sweeter,

May I be a keeper of the promises I make to You in song

Lord may I remember these moments of surrender

And live my life this way from this day on.

There is Joy in His Presence

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I love this picture of my dad. I love the joy on his face. He is a kid just enjoying being a kid.

I love seeing that joy on my children’s faces, too. I love it when they forget I’m around, and they are in their own world, just being kids.

I also love it when they snuggle on the couch with me in the mornings. Sometimes we just watch the sun rise, transforming the darkness outside our windows. Sometimes we talk about the dreams they had during the night. And sometimes they whisper big questions into those quiet moments, questions about life in this broken world.

I love the privilege of speaking truth into their lives. It gives me joy to be with them.

The longer I am a parent, the more parallels I see between children and being a child of God. Just as my children draw security and comfort from these early morning visits with me, I draw security and comfort from time in God’s Presence.

I have to admit that I haven’t always viewed time with God as being a joy-filled experience. There have been times in my life when being in His presence has been uncomfortable. There have been times when I’ve been nervous and prayed loud-and-fast-and-got-out-of-there-as-soon-as-I-could. I could still say I had time with the Lord, but I didn’t really spend time with him. I threw Him my list of needs and got out before He could say anything.

I was fulfilling a sense of duty, but it did not nourish my soul.

But God has a way of wiggling His truths into our hearts, even when our fingers are in our ears. He has a way of bringing us back to our senses when we stray off His path.

Why does He do this? Simply because He loves us. Because He wants us to experience the joy found through a relationship with Him.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

The more I spend time with Him, the more I see this as a lifeline, and less as an item on my to-do list.

I wrote this poem years ago, as my view of time with God began to change:

As I sit at Your feet and lean upon Your knee, As I read Your Words to me,

A hunger fills my lonely heart. It is You I desire to see.

When I’m with You I catch a glimpse of what this world should be.

Haziness clears, what is important appears, And it is You I desire to see.

In Your Presence is peace and fullness of joy, Unlike any other place I can be.

As Your loved daughter, a child of the King, It is my Father I long to see.

As I sit at Your feet and lean upon Your knee, As I read Your Words to me,

A hunger fills my peaceful heart, And with you I long to be.

The search for joy brings us to the feet of the One who loves us beyond measure.

God’s Care Can Handle Our Worries

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I have a love/hate relationship with roller coasters. I hate every moment that I’m being swung through the air, and yet the moment my feet hit the ground, I want to go again. In this picture, I’m the second person from the right. One of my best friends is on the far right. She’s the one who said, “Let’s wait in line ten years so that we can ride on the very front. It’ll be great!”

Life often feels like a roller coaster with its unexpected twists, turns and drops. I don’t like experiencing a free fall in real life. And most of life will feel like a free fall unless I remember today’s beautiful truth: God’s care can handle our worries.

I love the way 1 Peter 5:7 gives us the reason we can give our worries to God. “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for you…”

Believing that God cares changes the way we react to circumstances and other people in our life. Believing that He cares gives us stability in the midst of the free falls of life.

“As soon as we are convinced that God cares for us, our minds are easily composed to patience and humility…having cast our care on God, we may calmly rest. We ought to dwell all the more on this thought, that God cares for us, first, in order to have peace within, and, secondly, in order that we may be humble and meek towards men.” (Calvin’s New Testament Commentaries)

Believing this gives room for joy in our lives.

Philippians 4:4-7:  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Believing this gives us peace, even when it makes no sense to feel peace.

Isaiah 26:3: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

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We say what we think. We live what we believe.  God’s care can handle our worries today.

Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

In the book I am writing, the main character tells her friend, Stephen, about meeting the Jewel Maker. Their conversation tells us a lot about Stephen and about the Jewel Maker.

“Has He talked to you, too?”

“From time to time, yes. Like you, He speaks words of healing to me.” 

“What does He tell you?” 

Stephen’s face clouded. “That He loves me.” 

“Why do you look so sad when you say it?” 

“The shame I feel about not going after Jade covers me and makes it hard for me  to really believe His words, even when I know they are true. His words seem to roll off,  instead of reaching my heart. I am uneasy in His presence. I am nervous, although He is  only ever kind and loving.” – Angkura: The Fight for Hope

Although my story is fiction, shame is real. Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. (Brene Brown)

And thought the majority of us never talk about it, we’ve felt the blush of shame running over us. We’ve had times when we couldn’t even look ourselves in the eye in the mirror, much less open ourselves up to get close to others.

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Shame is a fungus. It flourishes in the dark, covering us with its lies. Shame separates us from God by convincing us that that though God’s love is real, it is not meant for us. Shame works overtime to make sure we feel alone, and that we stay alone. Eventually it convinces us that we are alone.

Shame convinces us that we are the only ones who make mistakes, the only ones who numb emotional pain through food, sex, video games, or mindless TV shows. Or by staying too busy to think or to feel.

The numbing only works for so long. We feel horrible about our actions, and resolve to not give in next time. But shame dives in and convinces us that we are worthless and stupid to think we could ever change.

The longer we are quiet about our shame, the stronger its voice grows.

Lets turn on the light and look at truth.

What does God say to us? He says I love you.

He says it through His Word, He says it by providing a way for us to know Him, He says it through the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. He can even say it through the smile of a stranger.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you… Isaiah 43: 1-4

God says I have called you by name. You are mine  precious, loved.

Shame pours over us, like a relentless waterfall, seeking to wash the truth away. But even if just a smidge of truth gets in, hold on to it.Truth is worth fighting for.

In these beginning days of October, we’ve seen that God’s love is lavish and extravagant. His love never ends, and His compassion toward us is as abundant as His love. And now, today’s beautiful truth – Nothing can separate us from His love. Nothing – not even the darkness within us. God’s love is real even when we don’t really feel it.

In the warmth of His marvelous light we find life.

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God’s Compassion Never Ends

It had been one of THOSE weeks. You know, the ones where life hits in relentless, pounding waves. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t get my footing. Dirty laundry formed mountains around my house, my kitchen was a mess, my husband stepped on a spike used in Roman times nail at work, and my children were perfecting the art of getting on each other’s last nerve.

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One morning between getting them off to school and getting ready for work, I crawled into my comfy chair, which was strategically angled so that I could look out the windows and ignore the messy house. I opened a devotional book and the first three words were a gift.

“Rest in me…”

Rest. The word brought verses to mind and comfort to my heart.

When I thought of Be still and know I am God. (Psalm 46:10), I heard “I’ve got this. You are not on your own here.”

The verse Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28) was like being lifted into strong arms.

I leaned my head back to bask in these words, to drink in the truth. And I fell asleep. Not a graceful dozing off, but a mouth wide open full-blown snooze.

It was exactly what I needed.

God knows we are living in a broken world where things are difficult. He knows we try to handle it on our own, and He gently reminds us that He hasn’t asked us to. We are just kids. We are His kids.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103: 13-14

There are days when I feel my dustiness, my weakness, my need for rest.

God’s love for us includes compassion. His compassion is equal to His love.

He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love. Lamentations 3:32

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He loves lavishly, and His compassion and comfort are lavish as well.

Sometimes Church Looks Like This

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Some Sundays I crave being in church, worshipping, singing, getting a glimpse of what God is doing in the world.

And on other Sundays I look at my family and can see that we are all just done. Fried. On those days, going to church feels like one more thing we are supposed to do.  I know I’ll spend the sermon glaring at three very wiggly children.

I don’t want to praise God and glare at my children at the same time. And I don’t want worshipping God to be something we just check off a list, or endure because we have to.

On one of those days, Stephen and I decided to take our crew outside for some Bible time. The kids each picked out a verse they wanted to read, and we headed out into the sunshine and gentle breeze. I’m sure we looked interesting as Anderson stood up to read his verses, dressed in his ever-present ninja costume. The girls read their verses and I read one about God’s steadfast love. We talked about how much God loves us, even when we mess up, because His love for us never ends.

These verses led into a very honest conversation, because everyone in our house knows what it is to mess up, to need forgiveness, to need grace.

Sometimes worshipping in church feeds my soul, and other times, a Bible time in the sunshine with my little family is what I need. Either way, we are doing what we were made for – praising Him every day.

And sometimes the end of church might look like this.

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